My Life as a Moose

Thirty-nine: An Ode to my Thirties

2012-01-25T12:17:00.000-06:00

I have officially embarked on the last year of my thirties. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. I haven’t thought that much about turning 40. I don’t have any particularly bad feelings about it, but I also can’t say that I’m as excited about it as I was when I turned 30.

Maybe I’m just feeling a bit nostalgic because I’ve really loved my thirties. I made a lot of mistakes in my twenties, and I feel like I made up for it in my thirties. I really grew up and figured out who I am and who I want to be. I got my MBA, bought my first house and reconnected with my faith.

I grew in my career over the past decade and I took a lot of risks. I walked away from Corporate America to follow my heart and go to work for the church…and I went back into the corporate world and moved across the country to pursue fun new opportunities. I figured out what I’m good at and what I enjoy and, for the most part, how to combine those to find work that is fun and satisfying.

The majority of my thirties I was single and trying to figure out what kind of man I wanted to have a lifelong partnership with. I cried more than a few tears as my heart ached to find someone who would add more love and laughter and adventure to my life. I went on a lot of blind dates and spent a lot of time with my girlfriends swapping stories about dating—the good, the bad and the ugly.

Then, of course, I found him. I enjoyed a whirlwind romance and the amazing process of becoming even more of myself just by being with him. I fell in love, got married and started yet a new chapter in NorCal. I learned a lot about wine and, well, sure enjoyed my fair share of it. I found unspeakable joy in getting pregnant and I discovered renewed strength in surviving a miscarriage.

So here I am with 362 more days to see what else might happen in this decade that has already seen so much. I’m sure that my forties will have their own list of adventures and struggles and events that further shape and define this little life of mine, and a year from now I’ll probably be ready to charge ahead.

Until then, though, I’m going enjoy these last months and do my best to squeeze every ounce out of them. (And not just the wine.)

Bring it, thirty-nine—I can’t wait to see what you have in store.

10 Things Not to Say

2012-01-16T18:30:00.000-06:00

It’s not my plan to make this a blog that’s just about miscarriage/pregnancy loss, but as I said in the previous post, it’s not something you just “get over” and so it’s on my mind. A lot. I spend a little (and sometimes a lot) of time online everyday with some seriously fantastic women. From my own experience and from the stories I’ve read I thought I would put together a little list of things that you shouldn’t say to someone who’s dealing with a loss.

I want to throw out a caveat first, though. I can see how this could easily be misconstrued by people in my life who might have said some of these things to me. I just want to say that I really do get it. I know that most comments have the right intentions and I try to view everything through that lens. This isn’t me taking a shot at you.

I’ve been guilty myself of saying the wrong thing. And when someone’s heart is broken and grieving it’s really hard to know what to say at all. Hopefully this list will help someone out there to help someone else down the line. So…in no particular order, here we go:

1. It was probably for the best. (The best? For who? Doesn’t feel like the best to me.)

2. At least you won’t have an unhealthy baby. (I’ll love whatever child I’m given, thank you.)

3. God wasn’t ready for you to be a mother yet. (Really? Just really??)

4. At least you know you can get pregnant. (Right…but staying pregnant is kind of key to whole process, yes?)

5. You’re so stressed at work—do you think that caused it? (There’s almost nothing you can do to “cause” an early loss. And even though we know that, most of us worry that we might have done something to cause it. Just don’t go there—are you trying to make me feel guilty on TOP of feeling heartbroken?)

6. At least it was early. (I fell in love the day we found out. A loss hurts like hell no matter when it happens.)

7. Just try to forget about it. ( Ouch—really?)

8. What’s the problem? If you want a baby, just get pregnant again. ((A)I don’t just want “a” baby, I want the one I lost and B) I wish we could all just pregnant when we want to…it so doesn’t work like that.)

9. That’s so awful. Now let me tell you about the awful things going on in my life….(Sigh. I want to be there for the people in my life, especially when they’re hurting. But my baby just died, don’t ignore my pain and expect me to be able to focus on your problems right now.)

10. I know this sucks, but you’ll have your babies some day. (This is the one I’ve gotten the most and I completely appreciate the sentiment and where it’s coming from. But, as mentioned in #8, I’m grieving a baby that I loved and wanted. I hope I’ll have babies some day, but I wanted THIS one. It takes away from the baby I just lost to so easily replace him with another baby down the road. I also know at this point that there are no guarantees in the journey to parenthood, especially at my age.)

There are plenty more (and if you’ve been through it and want to add to the list, please leave a comment!).

So what should you say? Say that you’re sorry. Say that you hate that we’re hurting so much. Say that this is unfair and that it sucks. Offer to be there for us if and when we want to talk. Pray with us. Treat it like you would the loss of any other family member or friend. Keep reaching out with calls or texts or emails—just a note that you’re thinking of us does wonders to keep us going. Just be there and let us know that while you might understand our exact pain, you love us and want to do whatever you can to help us while we grieve. Don’t be afraid to ask us how we’re doing—you’re not going to remind me of it, we already think about it all the time.

And to those of you who loved on me over the past few months—thank you for caring and taking such good care of us.

Then Came a Baby who Would Never Use a Carriage

2012-01-08T16:12:00.000-06:00

I said in my last post that I wouldn't be announcing that I'm pregnant, and I'm not. But I guess that's only part of the story because I was. I've debated for a while as to whether or not I should share this story, but it might be the most significant thing that's ever happened to either of us and I don't want our baby to be a secret.

We never hid the fact that we would start trying to get pregnant as soon as we got hitched. Um, we're old by the fertility world's standards, right? We knew that we wanted a family and we also knew that we needed to jump right in cause the clock is ticking.

On a run of the mill Wednesday morning in early September it happened--I took a test and saw the second pink line. It was pretty faint and M wasn't so sure that he saw it, so I tested with a digital and that beautiful word popped right up: Pregnant. I screamed and he ran back into the room and I jumped up and down and we laughed and cried all at the same time.

Then we went to spin class. (Cause we're uber romantic like that).

We fell in love that day with the little life inside me that we called Beanie. Over the next weeks we talked to "him" and told him stories about how excited we were to meet him and all the plans we had for playing and learning and all the things we wanted to do together as a family. I had no idea how quickly and completely you could love someone you've never met and was no larger than a raspberry. I started having symptoms and looking at maternity clothes. We talked about names and what we might want to do for a nursery. They were the happiest weeks of my life.

Then the symptoms went away. If you know me in real life, you know that I'm a realist (and maybe a little neurotic?). I spend way too much time on the internet and I don't do much that I haven't already researched. Unlike a lot of first time moms, I wasn't really that naive. I knew the stats on miscarriage and have a painfully long list of friends who have experienced loss. When the symptoms subsided I knew something was wrong.

Two days shy of 9 weeks we had our first appointment including an ultrasound where we desperately hoped that my instincts were wrong and that we'd see a heartbeat. We didn't. We saw a beautiful little baby on that screen who looked perfect. But he measured a week behind and was no longer alive.

There are no words to describe that moment. I was initially in disbelief and made them bring in another doctor to take a second look. The outcome was the same. In an instant I was both numb and experiencing the most intense pain I could imagine. There is no question that it was the worst day of our lives, and it was one drawn out nightmare until I actually miscarried a week later at 10 weeks.

It's been almost 3 months now since we said goodbye to Beanie. And yet, I know that in many ways I haven't been able to say goodbye. I've learned a lot in these painful weeks. I've learned that I had no idea what it was like when my friends were experiencing their losses. I've learned that I said all the wrong things to them when I was trying to say the right things. I learned that unless you've been through it, you can't understand this pain (and I'm so glad that most people in my life have never had to experience this).

But I also learned that I have an amazing support system. The few people who knew we were pregnant jumped in and just loved on us. The people that I opened up to and told about the loss jumped in and loved us, too. I learned that I married the absolute perfect man for me. He has been amazing and we are so much closer and stronger as a result. I also found an amazing group of women through an online support group and in our shared experience they have helped buoy me along on some of the darkest days.

Pregnancy loss is, unfortunately, still a very taboo topic in our society. I think most couples don't share because so many people don't understand, and therefore don't legitimize, an early loss. It is a silent grief that affects 1 out of 4 pregnancies and there are, undoubtedly, men and women all around you going through the motions of work and life and play keeping their pain inside. Maybe we're afraid of what people will say (as I mentioned before, many people with the best of intentions still say things that sting). It's a loss that you don't just "get over."

So I write this post for them. For me. For the many who will experience loss in the future. And I most of all, I write it for Beanie.

We love you, sweet angel baby and can't wait to meet you in heaven some day. You will always be our first baby, and while we hope we'll have another chance at a successful pregnancy, it will never replace you or mean that we wouldn't give anything to have you back.

Then Comes Marriage!

2011-12-21T15:07:00.000-06:00

On a gloomy Saturday morning in September, M and went for a hike. There's a great little trail in Sonoma that ends up overlooking the town with views extending out through the valley and, on a clear day, over to San Pablo bay and San Francisco.

No make-up, hair in a ponytail, sleepy eyes. Not exactly my best look. But, I love that my guy loves me for who I am without all the face paint and such, and so I absolutely adore that he chose that moment when we reached the top to drop down on one knee and ask me to be his wife. Perfection.

We spent the next eight months planning and prepping and pulling together our dream wedding--an intimate and simple ceremony on the lawn of a local winery with a hell of a party in the barrel room to celebrate our new life together. It was an absolutely perfect day and exceeded all of my hopes of what that day could be. I know it sounds generic, but it really was the best day of our lives. Here are a few of my favorite pics.

(Credits to our AH-mazing photographer, Chip Gillespie. He's in the Houston area. Book him. NOW.)

[For more amazing pictures take a look here. For our rockstar pictures from the day after the wedding, look here. Now really, book this man for any photographs you need taken!]

After looking for my prince for so many years it finally happened and he might as well have placed a glass slipper on my foot. Fairytales really do come true.

***And don't get excited about these last two titles-- there's no baby news coming in the next one***

First Comes Love...

2011-12-05T22:38:00.001-06:00

Whew! OK...I realize that it's been beyond ages since I last posted, but here I am with a shiny new look and, really, a whole new life since I left you last.

Yep--I'm no longer a swinging' single gal. I think the main reason I stopped posting was because my head was suddenly filled with all these thoughts of a very groovy guy. But dating and blogging don't always go hand and hand. I'm not sure he would have been super excited to read the chronicles of our growing relationship here, and so I just stopped posting. The fact that I was working a gagillion hours a week at the time might also have contributed just a little bit.

So what's the back story? Well, I actually met this groovy guy "back in the day." We grew up in the same small-ish town in Texas and had tons of mutual friends. He played football with my brother. Our moms were teachers together. And we even double dated to his senior prom with each other's friends.

(REALLY wish I had a picture of that to add here. Then again, you would see me when I was 17. With poofy hair. And a poofier dress. I assure you that nothing was pretty in 1990.)

He graduated and neither of us thought twice about the other for nineteen years. I have to spell that out because, hello, 19 years! Enter a Facebook friend request and the sweetest reconnection with emails and getting to know each other all over again and, well, we fell in love in a crazy California adventure full of days spent in vineyards in wine country mixed in with lazy days at the beach. Next month will mark 3 years since we reconnected, but it's only been a couple of years since we were solidly a couple. You know, around the time I stopped posting. (Yes, I was holding out on you there for a while).

I'll tell the rest of the story in my next post, but to tide you over I'll drop in a few pictures from the early days. :)

Second date (June 2009)

My first trip to Napa (Sept 2009)

New Year's Eve 2010

Wine tasting (April 2010)

Wedding in Vermont (May 2010)

Whale watching in SoCal (August 2010)

The Thing About The Olympics

2010-02-23T23:48:00.000-06:00

I'm such a sucker for the Olympics. Seriously--I will schedule my whole life around the games during the two weeks (winter or summer) that they're on. And let's face it. I will CRY LIKE A BABY.

So what is it that hits such a nerve as to evoke such emotion?

I think it's simple, really. The fulfillment of a dream. We sit on the couch in the comfort of our homes and watch these kids who have spent countless hours, sacrificing time with their friends, sleep, their parents' money, and a lot of other "kid stuff" for years. All because they had that perfect combination of unique talent and a dream strong enough to drive them to incomparable heights.

So maybe my dreams haven't involved as much time and sacrifice. And if I'm honest, they haven't involved as much heart. either.

But that doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, dreams are dreams. And the thing about dreams is that most of them don't come true. And for most of us, that's a bit uncomfortable.

But here comes this moment in time, every two years, where we get to watch these kids compete their hearts out. And for the lucky few it all pays off and they get that sweet moment of victory. It's an amazing thing to watch.

My dreams....well, there are a lot of them that continue to falter. When I watch the Olympics my emotions swell with the satisfaction of seeing a dream realized just as much as they stutter with the reality check for those in that haven't come through.

Sometimes that hit is pretty deep, tapping into those areas of my life that I've hoped for but not yet realized.

But for the most part, I think the emotion is pure joy. Joy in knowing that dreams DO come true. That hard work and effort DO pay off. And that so many of us can sit in our living rooms and experience that joy together.

The thing about the Olympics? They shake us out of being content with anything less than all we have to give. They make us want more--to stretch ourselves and see what we can really do.

And really, isn't that what it's all about anyway?

[Side note: yes...I know I owe you details on life. When I have more than 2 free minutes at a time I promise I'll catch you up.]

When It Rains It Pours

2010-01-25T01:07:00.000-06:00

So what’s up with our little buddy El Nino?? Last week had the craziest weather that Southern California has seen “ever.” (At least that’s what those who have lived here longer than my tenure of 14 days keep telling me.) I’m crossing my fingers that they’re right. My Texas friends will understand the conditions when I say that it was basically April thunderstorm weather—complete with a couple of tornados.

[Interestingly, though, the storms came without thunder. I’m going to need to go to the wiki on that one…I don’t get why the thunder didn’t come to the party.]

Anyway, I got soaked more times in the past seven days than I can even count. I’d like to order up the sunshine now, please.

One of last week’s agenda items was getting to the DMV and getting my driver’s license and registration taken care of. Apparently the fact that I had this on my list caused some friends to think that I’m overly conscientious about such things. Yeah…not so much. But my registration expired at the end of December and my license expired last Friday. SO…I carved out time from work and headed over to just get it done with. I left the DMV (soaked from waiting in line outside) 2 hours later with neither of these chores accomplished.

Long story on both, but I did go back the next day and get the properly licensed to drive. The registration…well, when your title is locked up somewhere in storage facility in Fullerton, you have to get the state of Texas involved. I love the Tejas, of course, but I’m not holding my breath on getting this one resolved very quickly.

Moving cross country: there’s so much more fun than just living out of your (unregistered) car.

To escape the wet dreary weather in SoCal, I headed to NoCal where I was delighted to be greeted by…more wet, dreary weather. I went for some meetings in San Francisco and then to Napa to celebrate the second anniversary of my 35th birthday. Let’s just be crystal clear—there’s no better way to spend a birthday weekend than sipping delicious wine in spectacular locations with a super groovy guy.

Especially when you get a good pour.

Not in Kansas Anymore

2010-01-19T00:19:00.001-06:00

Whew. I honestly don’t know where to start. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind like no other. I completely feel like Dorothy…pretty much minding my own business and then…POOF…swept away to a foreign land in the blink of an eye. It’s crazy that it’s only been a few weeks since all this change was set in motion. And here I am tonight sitting in my (second…we’ll get to that in a minute) hotel room in Orange County California.

So let’s see. There was the move itself. I’m so glad that Mother Nature blew through with 20 degree temps the day of the move. That was ever so helpful to the whole process. I won’t soon forget the morning that the movers were loading the truck and my mom and dad and I were upstairs in the warmest room of the house with coats and gloves shivering away. Three hours with the door open with those kind of temps has that effect.

Other than being mind numbingly cold (I’m from TEXAS, people…I don’t have the constitution to withstand anything less that 45 degrees), the move went very smoothly. I gave away about half of my stuff and really regret that I didn’t take a picture of my garage before the charity came and took it all away. It was, if I do say so myself, one impressive heap of junk. Absolutely a case of where one man’s trash is another’s treasures. Seriously…I hope that others are enjoying that stuff. I feel so much lighter without it!

There were a few glitches of course (my favorite was about 20 minutes after the truck drove away and my mom happened to open the largest drawer in the kitchen. To find it FULL. Yep. Luckily that was the only thing the packers missed). But my belongings have arrived in California and I’m so happy to be back in possession of my car—not because I care about the car at all, but it was impressively packed with all the stuff that I will have access to in the next couple of months while most of my stuff is in storage. So now I’m not just living out of one suitcase…I’m living out of six of them. Good times.

When I got here I checked into an extended stay hotel. For some reason I thought it made sense to get a place where I could pick up groceries and feel somewhat settled in for the first week. I clearly didn’t factor in the 80 hours of work that left minimal time to eat…let alone shop. The hotel was absolutely disgusting (and I’m pretty sure the carpet hasn’t been changed since 1984). I can’t believe I stayed there for 5 nights, but I’m happy to report that I vacated the flea bag suites this morning.

I had hoped to move into an apartment today. I did find a place yesterday, but can’t move in until 2/1. I’ll be in a furnished apartment for a couple of months while I get the lay of the land and figure out where I really want to live. I found a super cute place in Laguna Beach about 3 blocks away from the beach and village. I can’t believe that I will live walking distance to the beach. This, my friends, is my dream come true.

So many other things have happened (including my car showing up broken…though apparently not the movers fault), but it’s all just coming together. It’s been quite a ride, but I’m not sure anything has just snapped into place for me before like all of the details around this whirlwind move have. I am so many miles from home and barely know anyone out here, but I’m so happy and at peace that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Even if the gas is $3.19 per gallon.

Movin' on Along

2009-12-22T22:42:00.003-06:00

Good grief. The moving? It is A LOT of work!!

Just a quick note tonight to say that:

a) Christmas is 50 hours away...and by the skin of my teeth I am READY. Bring it!

b) I close on my house a week from today. This is the one detail in the whole shebang that I actually don't have to do anything for but show up. Holla!

c) I move in 10 days. That thought? TERRIFIES me! I have so many details to figure out. Like...someone to move me. And, tiny detail...WHERE are they going to move it?! I'm going to take the easiest way out on this one and hire someone to pack, move and store my stuff. Three companies are coming tomorrow and hopefully it will be clear which one is the best choice. Where I'm going to be on the other end, on the other hand...well, we're just considering that an adventure. I'll either ask a friend to go check out some options or I'll sign up for something sight unseen. Or I'll live in a hotel or out of my car for a while. I guess either way I'll figure it out.

I know there will be unexpected complications. I've already had my work email/calendar go completely wonky and they haven't even transferred it for real. The real deal will undoubtedly be a disaster. So I'm just trying to expect it--there will certainly be other details that go awry.

I wish I could say that I'm just rolling with all of this and am as cool as a cucumber. To say such a thing would be a bald face lie.

The truth is that I'm beyond stressed out. The combination of the job expectations (how can be this far behind in a job I started yesterday??), Christmas, closing and vacation next week, the move the following week, and meetings in San Francisco the week after are, well, overwhelming to me.

So...I'm trying to breathe a lot remind myself that I WANT this to all happen and that it will ultimately be a good thing. The way it's all unfolded makes me think that it's a God thing, and if that's true that the details have already been worked out.

That's the theory, of course. The practical, well, it's not so rose-colored and sunny.

For those of you in close proximity who are putting up with me right now, thank you for your patience and your encouragement and your amazing, amazing love and support. I know that I can get pretty tightly wound (yes, I just admitted it), but I hope you know how much I appreciate you!!

WooHoo! Bring on the packing tape and bubble wrap!!

Upside Out. Inside Down. And Beach Bound!

2009-12-13T22:31:00.012-06:00

So…WOW. What a difference a week makes! Two pretty major things happened in the past seven days that have effectively turned my life upside down and inside out in the blink of an eye.

First—I sold my house! And had it inspected and started down path of the gagillion little details that go into selling I house. I’m a first time seller and my poor realtor is earning her commission—I’m guessing I could win an award for asking the most questions ever. I just like to know how everything works and why it works that way.

Pretty much like a two-year old with an escrow account.

My friends like to tease me that I don’t do anything partway. I don’t just get sick…I get H1N1 or obscure medical conditions. I don’t just hurt myself…I do something to require stitches or pins or some other surgical intervention. And apparently I don’t just do a little something to add chaos to my life…I go a few steps further push my sanity completely to the brink.

You might remember the job I mentioned that fell through at the 11th hour? The whole situation was seriously sucky and I was definitely disappointed about the whole shebang. That’s probably an understatement on both accounts. ANYWAY…in a completely surprising twist of fate, they came back and asked me to reconsider an “enhanced” offer. (Which isn’t as fancy as it sounds, but is what I needed to be able to actually pack up my life and go live in a bankrupt state that was already ridiculously expensive to begin with).

And I said YES!

So I’m moving to Orange County, CA and am completely thrilled with the whole reversal of fortune thing. And shocked. And reeling. And terrified. And already completely in over my head at a new job that I can’t wait to do. I think I just got a seat at the grown-ups table and, well, it should definitely be an interesting ride!

Not sure exactly when I’m headed West, but considering that my house closes in two weeks and I’m moving out 2 weeks after that, my guess is that it’s going to happen pretty fast. There is so much I will miss about Austin (and Texas!), but I'm really excited for this next adventure.

And if 'fate' is listening, while I’m delighted about the recent events, perhaps this week could be a little less eventful. And maybe I could get some Christmas shopping done.

(P.S.—In case you’re wondering, I knew all of this when I posted this. But I had to post it anyway…when I wrote it I didn’t have a clue what was about to unfold!)

(P.P.S--I think that's what 'fate' likes to call IRONY.)

Christmas Countdown

2009-12-13T22:06:00.001-06:00

Christmastime when I was kid always began on December 7th—my brother’s birthday is the 6th and my mom strongly believed that he should get to have his day in the sun before we jumped into the Christmas chaos. And we couldn’t blame her—my mom’s birthday is Christmas day and she definitely got what it was like to have your birthday get overshadowed by bigger celebrations.

One of my favorite things we did to prepare was the countdown calendar. As I recall, there’s was a candy cane everyday when we opened the next little window…and I’ve always been a girl who likes my sweets! I love a good countdown when the anticipation builds and the journey to get there becomes as much fun as the eventual destination (this is my complete MO with vacations, too).

The countdown to Christmas is still my favorite part of the holiday—planning gifts, shopping, wrapping. (OK…not wrapping. I actually hate that part.)

I also try to prepare my heart for Christmas on a spiritual level. For several years now the main theme for me has been the reminder me that God keeps his promises…even when it seems that he’s gone away. After generations of Old Testament prophets, silence fell on the Earth and God didn’t “speak” for 400 years. It’s not hard to relate to the feeling they must have had that God just disappeared.

In my own life, it also seems like I’ve been living in silence. For a while now it’s been very difficult for me to hear God’s voice. I’m guessing that it has more to do with me not listening than him not talking— but either way, all I’m hearing are crickets.

And the silence? It’s deafening.

And then Christmas comes. And with it a powerful reminder to me that just because I can’t hear him, it doesn’t for the tiniest moment mean that he’s not here or that he doesn’t love me just as much as he did when I had the frequency dialed in.

I read something that pointed out that God showing up in a manger is a reminder that he can show up any time; any place. That he would choose to do it the way he did is mind boggling. I fully get why it sounds so foolish to someone who doesn’t know God. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I feel a little foolish telling the story because I KNOW how it sounds.

And yet…God decided to do something that, honestly, we couldn’t begin to make up. I really love that about him. Hello…a virgin? A manger? But in coming as one of us he rolled up his sleeves and jumped into life with all its messy, painful, JUNK. He became one of us (well…a fully loaded, upgraded version of us).

I can’t wrap my brain around God—and I’m so glad for that. I’m completely uninterested in a God that I could understand or who only works in ways that make sense to me. A god small enough to fit in any box I could make would be an awfully wimpy god.

And I don’t do wimpy. Unless you count the way I wrap gifts.

Life and Jell-O and Time Warps and Such

2009-11-30T22:03:00.001-06:00

Hi y’all!

Well…I’ve been taking a bit of a bloggy break and several of you have been so nice to reach out and, well, suggest that it’s time to jump back in. Not only is that just super nice, it’s also shockingly nice.

Um, wow…you noticed I was gone. That’s, well, NICE!

As my last post explained this has been the season of the unkown. I wish I could give you an update with all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed, but I guess it just doesn’t work that way. The truth is that nothing is really different. Still waiting for my house to sell, still trying to figure out my job situation, and still exploring what’s next. And yes…I still hope it’s California!

One of the reasons that I’ve been quiet recently is that I got sick…hello H1N1. Whew! What that little bug lacks in intensity it makes up for in duration. So while it was actually fairly mild, four weeks later I’m still working to get my energy back.

But truth be told, that’s probably just an excuse.

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit like a piece of pineapple stuck in one of my late grandmother’s Jell-o molds. I can sort of see out, but I just feel stuck. (Hmm…after all that Thanksgiving eating I definitely feel “jiggly” too!!) There’s great stuff in my life right now—but I still just feel stuck waiting to see what’s next. I’m a girl who likes to take the bull by the horns and GO, but I just can’t seem to find them right now or figure out which way I’m supposed to be going.

How’s that for a bunch of mixed metaphors?

Anyway, I spent the holiday with my family and took a lot of time to reflect on how grateful I am for so much, despite recent disappointments. In fact, I think I’m even thankful for the disappointments because they allow me to remember and appreciate so many things that I take for granted.

And now (because apparently I’ve been living in a time warp where days fly by at an alarming speed) it’s December and Christmastime. I’d like to be disciplined this month in writing about this season of hope. About what hope means to me. And about faith…something that, honestly, I’ve been struggling with. So we’ll see how I do amongst all the hustle and bustle and merriment of the season, but I’m going to try.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Do They Make a GPS for That?

2009-10-05T20:10:00.009-05:00

I'm the kind of gal that really likes maps. I like knowing the lay of the land--what's North or South and how places are connected together by a spiderweb of roads and highways. I absolutely love to travel but rarely go anywhere without studying a map first to get my bearings and understand the relationship of the location to its surroundings. It helps me to appreciate and more fully experience the destination.

Or maybe I just like control.

The thing about studying a map and "understanding" where I'm at, if I'm really honest, has a lot to do with feeling like I'm in control of where I'm at. That I have knowledge (hello, power!) and that I'm not purely at the mercy of my concierge or cabbie.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I alluded a few times in previous posts (yes, like a million years ago) that there was big news in the works. The truth is that I thought I was bound for Southern California. I've been working towards a really cool promotion for the past year and it looked like it was all going to come together and I was going to pack it all up and head West. I fully imagined life by the beach--surfing, running along the sand, and lots of time to soak up the sun, sights and sounds of ocean living. Truth be told, my heart was pretty much set on it. Oh...and the job would have been a killer career opportunity.

At the eleventh hour it all fell apart. I got the offer, but yada yada ya, we couldn't make the details work out when it all came down to it. I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than incredibly disappointed.

So the past few weeks have been weighty ones. I've had to reconcile that something I really wanted and looked forward to wasn't going to pan out. I was so sure that I had read the map correctly and was navigating to not only where I wanted to go, but also to the place I thought I was supposed to go next.

Yeah. Not so much. Feels a little bit like deja vu.

(And for the record, if you ever have such issues to wade through, I highly recommend retreating to Napa. Definitely worked for me.)

So here I am at the proverbial crossroads. And honestly? I have NO idea what's next. Those of you who know me well can imagine that this is, an, uh, less than comfortable place for me to be. But it's that good kind of uncomfortable. My house is still on the market and I still plan to sell it, but have no idea what I'm going to do if/when it actually sells. I still have a job (for which I am definitely grateful), but I know it's not one that really challenges or excites me. I think it's time for something new, but what that looks like I really don't know.

I think my heart is still in California and there are lots of reasons that I'd like to head West and explore the possibilities. And oh, yeah...we're still in a recession so it's not like there a jobs a plenty just waiting for me to come along.

There have been moments when all of the above have filled me with pause--not to mention some angst. But there have also been lots of moments that have filled me with pure excitement and anticipation of what the next adventure might be.

So here we go...there's a journey ahead. And there's no map for this one. I suspect that all of my control-loving-sensibilities are going to be challenged along the way. But I'm also pretty sure that it's going to be wild and wonderful ride.

Buckle up!

This is Where the Cowboy Rides Away

2009-09-03T19:04:00.008-05:00

You know those people in your life who can only be described as enigmatic? They have an uncommon level of spunk and charisma and, just, PRESENCE. Last week I said good-bye to a treasure of man who fits this description. He was family. And he was my grandfather's best friend for decades.

I'm pretty certain that heaven is a much livelier place today now that those two are back together. I like to think that my PaPa had worked out a gag with St. Peter and Sonny was met with a heaven-sized practical joke. And I'm certain that Sonny will return in kind.

These two old cowboys were from my favorite place in the middle of nowhere--Roby, Texas. This is literally a hole in the wall square of red dirt, but it is my absolute favorite place in then entire world because it is DRIPPING with so many of my favorite childhood memories. Robytown will have to be it's own entry at some point, but while I was sitting in this little country Baptist church at the funeral, I had a few observations:

1. REAL hat head comes from a cowboy hat. That hat, by the way, is waiting for you along with a dozen others in the foyer. You certainly wouldn't think about wearing it into the service.

2. Chewing gum in church is just TACKY. Chewing gum at a funeral is unconscionable.

3. The way that people in small towns not only pull over, but actually get out of their cars and stand attentively when a funeral procession passes by is simply priceless. That's the purest kind of class.

4. Living your life in such a way that you pack the church and leave the preacher struggling to sum up the kind of person you were and the positive mark you made is the way I want to live. The preacher quoted an old bumper sticker: Live your life in such a way that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral. Yep. That's the way to do it.

These days I'm reminded more and more of how unpredictable life can be. One moment you may have everything planned out, but the next moment you may feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath you.

(Not that I would know anything about that personally. Ahem.)

Life is fragile. And fabulous. And sometimes frustrating. And either way it goes by really fast.

When my sweet PaPa died a year ago I had the opportunity to say a few words at his funeral. I talked about how this amazing man was a light in a world full of darkness. How he loved God and loved others and his life showcased both. Sonny did the same.

The legacy that men like Sonny Turnbow and Garland Moore leave for the rest of us is the opportunity to carry that flame and continue to shine light in a very dark and dirty and desperate world.

My own light might flicker from time to time. Or a lot. (There are certainly plenty of times that I feel dark and dirty and desperate). But I'm going to do my best. There are too many people who need the light. And too many who made a point of passing it on to me.

And I take a lof of comfort in know that the darkness? It will never overcome the light.

More Than and Thousand Monkeys

2009-09-02T21:25:00.003-05:00

I’m just going to say it: my niece and nephew are the two coolest kids on the planet. OK…yes. Perhaps I’m biased. And perhaps those are close to fighting words because you believe that YOU have the coolest kid(s) on the planet. Perhaps we’re both right.

I spent the weekend with Mr. T (4 ½) and Baby K (18mo). In general, Mr. T is all sugar and Baby K is all spice. I love getting in some good Aunt Moose time and just playing with these kiddos. We got down and dirty and managed to squeeze in a weekend jam packed with fun. These kids are sweet, smart, funny and crazy cute.

(Really—Jason, how did you manage to have such beautiful and amazing children??)

On Saturday we were outside playing and we had the sidewalk chalk out. I drew a picture and asked Mr. T if he knew what it was. He said, “Yes! It’s a MOOSE!” I said, ‘You’re right buddy! But do I REALLY look like that??” He looked at me with the most incredulous little face and said, “Uh, NO…You’re an AUNT Moose!”

Duh. Apparently that’s a whole other species. (And I’m not complaining).

At another time I was sitting with him and I asked him if he knows how much I love him. He stretched out his arms as wide as he could and said, “This much?” I stretched out my own arms, which of course were much wider, and said, “Even MORE than THIS much! 5 times more. 500 times more. 5 MILLION times more!” He looked at me with wide-eyed wonder and said, “I know—a THOUSAND times more!”

He jumped up and ran off to his room and came right back with a book. I should have noted the title, but it’s something that starts with a couple of monkeys and eventually builds to the crescendo—a thousand monkeys. He anxiously turned the last page, animated with monkeys everywhere, and proclaimed that he loves me “more than a thousand monkeys!”

Yep. That’s my kind of kid!

Pura Vida

2009-08-12T07:00:00.005-05:00

Whew. OK...it's been ages since I last posted. Sorry about that! There's LOTS going on in Moosedom right now and I just haven't had a chance to write.

Part of the distraction was, in a word, PARADISE. I went on vacation last week to Costa Rica and it was the Best. Vacation. Ever. Seriously.

One of the challenges of being a 30-something single girl (who loves to travel) is finding others who have the same interests, availability and budget for a fun vacation. So I sent out a note to the many amazing single girls I know and started looking for the perfect place to go.

Hello luxurylink.com. If you aren't familiar with this website, now's the time to turn the light on and get to know one of my favorite places to hang out on this little thing we call the World Wide Web. LuxuryLink is a site that features high-end vacation rentals at discounted rates and auctions. The first time I went out to look for ideas I found the perfect place. A gift really. A little slice of paradise called Casa Oceano. And we got an amazing deal on an even more amazing house (and by house I mean villa-mansion-dwelling deluxe).

A few of us all started reaching out to our fabulous friends and ended up with the perfect group of six. Perfect not only because they were all accomplished, interesting, fun women, but also because the house had six bedrooms and, well, you can do the math. Perfection.

This trip was truly spectacular. But I have to say, that on top of all the fun and luxury and, hello, decadence, it was also a very spiritual trip. I have always felt closest to God in nature. Those moments when I look around me in awe of the natural beauty and know that God just breathed it and it came into being.

On this trip I was overwhelmed by the gift that God was giving me (and the whole group). It was impressed on me that when He was creating this beautiful coastline with its thundering surf and jagged volcanic rock, that he knew we would be there to enjoy His handiwork. That, if for nothing else, He created it for the moments that we were there to appreciate it. It all goes back to the post I wrote a few weeks ago: my life is so good and for too long I've taken for granted the beauty around me that was all a gift to enjoy.

In the last few days that I was there I was a little overwhelmed by some potentially big decisions and changes that I knew would be in front of me when I got back (sorry to be cryptic...more info as I am able to share). For a while now, the trip has been a barrier between present and future and I was acutely aware that as the trip ended that future would no longer be something "out there" but become the here and now.

In the midst of that I spent some time praying and God took me to Mark 5:18 where JC said, "Go home and tell your family what I've done for you and how good my mercies are." Yep. That fits.

This trip was such a gift and to say that God's mercies are good is simply inadequate. His love for us is perfect. He knows exactly what each one of us need in every moment and, if we're willing to open our eyes and notice, He'll show us how He's meeting those needs.

I'm really sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to blog each day of the trip to share all the fun stories with you. We had such an adventure and more fun than I can convey here. Here are a few pictures that I hope at least give you a taste of our experience.

Our fabulous group a the lookout point at the end of our beach:

The beach behind me was our playground. Our house was down by the rocks at the end of the beach.

Our amazing house:

From the dining room looking out over the sundeck (looking out over the ocean):

Our private beach:

A coconut I found on said beach:

We hiked to the waterfalls in Montezuma:Swimming in the falls:This is Sebastian (a.k.a. one of my favorite stories). This crab apparently sleeps in the house at the base of the stairs to my room. We tried to remove him and he just came back. We tried to scare him...no luck. And then we took this picture. And he never came back. Apparently Sebastian can read. And got the hint...

Ziplining in the canopy near Montezuma!The last day we were there about 20 howler monkeys stopped by to visit. AMAZING!! B.L.I.S.S Soaking up the sun. Sigh. (I want to go back!!)Las Gringas Locas!!

Costa Rica 2009 and Las Gringas Locas was an experience that I will always treasure for the fun and the friendship, but even more for the reminder of God's faithfulness.

The motto in the CR is Pura Vida--the good life.

Thanks, God for giving me one that is amazingly good.

Surf's UP!

2009-07-15T23:20:00.010-05:00

OK. So, yes. I'm astronomically accident prone. We've clearly established that and have this as Exhibit A.

BUT...I also like to fancy myself as the adventurous sort and will offer up this as Exhibit B.

And (I hope) I've made it clear that I'm ALL IN along this journey of making the most of all that life has to offer in the here and now.

So despite the tendency to, uh, bruise like a peach, I just can't slow down when it comes to not only living my life, but fully experiencing our groovy little world. Along those lines I finally did something last weekend that I've been wanting to do for ages.

Several years ago I heard about a surf school in San Diego called Surf Diva. Hello...could there possibly be a better name for an establishment created to teach women how to conquor the ocean and surf?? Two sisters started Surf Diva about 20 years ago, and while they began as an surf school for women, they are now ranked as the number one surf school in San Diego (and they're even willing to help the surfer dudes out there get up and hang ten).

I knew as soon as I heard about them that THIS was a place I wanted to go to learn how to surf. So when I had a work trip to San Diego pop up, I immediately made plans to come in early and booked my first surfing lesson.

And the surfing? It is CRAZY FUN!

It's a sad thing that there are no action shots, because, y'all...I actually did WELL at this new venture! Carla and Shayna are clearly talented instructors, because I got up on my second wave and rode the third. But of course I started to overthink it and struggled a bit. (My instructor asked what I do for a living and then ascertained that I seem to always be plotting what my next step is going to be.)

That's not me at all. Except, you know, EXACTLY.

Apparently this is a sport that requires one to stop thinking about it and just "feel the waves" and once I did that I got back up and at 'em.

The pictures are certainly not my best...but I couldn't care less, beacause they were captured on a day that I smiled from ear to ear for HOURS. And so here they are completely untouched.

Just me and my board. SO SAD that my eyes are closed:

With bad ass Carla:
The newbies, Mel and Shayna (instructor in training):

I can feel it--I'm definitely hooked.

And I'm already plotting my next time out.

Ante Up

2009-07-13T09:00:00.004-05:00

A year ago I thought I was the happiest I had ever been. I was madly in love with a guy I thought was “the one” and after a long time of waiting to find Prince Charming I thought everything was falling into place and it was all going to happen. Finally. All those things I wanted so much—passionate love, a great marriage, kiddos—would move from being things I dreamt about and become my daily life.

Yeah. Well. It clearly didn’t pan out that way.

Literally overnight we went from talking about marriage and dreaming about our future together to him telling me that this was over. In a word? Blindsided. In another word, devastated.

I’ll spare you all the messy details and just say that those were some dark days that followed.

But now it’s been almost a year, and you know what? I can honestly say that I’m happier right now than I have ever been. WOW. I did NOT see that coming. (And this is the kind of blindsided that I can get on board with.)

The thing is, I finally figured something out. It’s a funny thing to be 36 and single. It’s a state of being that most of world can’t relate to, and—most of the time—doesn’t quite know what to do with. Those of us in this life stage are often “other.” And I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and wanting to escape this category and fall into some idea of life that qualifies as “ordinary.”

And I regret to say that in my case, that waiting equated to mostly going through the motions while wishing I’d been dealt a different hand. Um, what’s that all about? What a waste of perfectly wonderful life. An extraordinary one, even.

And so at some point—without even realizing it, really—I got in the game and started to play the cards I’ve been dealt. And you know what? It’s a pretty fabulous hand.

I see it all around me—people who are stuck thinking about how green that grass looks on the other side of the fence. And it’s not just the single set. It always throws me for a loop when I hear people who have all things I think I want complain about their husbands or constantly tell me how their kids frustrate and exhaust them and rarely choose to focus on the light and love and joy that they bring.

It seems to me that we each have dozens of choices to make every day. And among the biggest of those is choosing how we’re going to look at this crazy little thing called life. I still hope that someday I’ll have the chance to be a wife and mom--and if I get that hand I’ll do all I can to play it well. But those aren’t the cards I’m holding right now.

And there’s no way I’m going to fold and go home.

What choices are you making today?

Me? I’m ALL IN.

Pizza-rific!

2009-06-27T17:09:00.004-05:00

So if you know me at all you know that I don't really cook. It's not that I don't enjoy it or that I'm completely devoid of culinary abilities, I just rarely make the time to do more than heat up a Lean Cuisine or something similarly (not) time consuming.

When I was in SoCal for work my friend Guy the video guy and his sweet wife Margaret invited me over for dinner. And there was a moment of concern when I learned that menu primarily consisted of pizza. One of which I would be required to make.

But under the excellent tutelage of the experts I was shockingly pleased with the results. And--of course--needed to document my little moment of triumph.

Yes--that's me with, ahem, a rolling pin.

Clearly this was a task that required concentration.And some help from the expert.Ready for the fire.Getting it in the super groovy pizza stone grill contraption thingy.
The experts inspect the final product. Voila!
Guy with his finished pizza.

We made a crazy number of pizzas and mine was certainly not the best, but it was a delicious endeavor nonetheless. And pretty darn tastey in its own right.

(So much better than Lean Cuisine).

Thank you Ristorante Cirinelli for such a fun time--Buono!

pixurw4j6f

All in a Day's Work

2009-06-26T17:43:00.004-05:00

Well, not really a day...more like a month. And not really all work either.

I did some calculating today, and in the month of June I've visited 5 cities. In 4 time zones. Shuffled through 7 airports. Stayed in 5 hotels. Stayed in 3 homes of friends/family. And spent 18 nights somewhere other than my own home sweet home.

(That's a lot.)

Almost all of that was for work, but I did my best to fit some play in there, too. My last trip started in Boulder for the first leg and then on to Southern California for a stop in Santa Ana and then San Diego. There are, obviously, worse places they could ask me to go slave away for the job. I completely fell in love with Boulder--it makes my top five places in the US list. It rocks. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

I got home last night, and while I'm completely pooped today I can't help but reflect on what an amazing place our crazy little world is. Mountains. Oceans. Climate swings of 30-ish degrees. (Seriously--it was something like 71 degrees when I left San Diego 24 hours ago and is currently 102 in Austin. Hello heat!)

I'm so grateful that I get to see little pieces of the planet here and there. Even better when I get to see (and make) friends along the way. This time around I even got to make some pizza. That story is going to have to wait, but here are some shots of the nature-licious sites I got to enjoy last week.

Hiking (more like sprinting because I had so little time) in The Flatirons in Boulder early Saturday morning before rushing off to the airport. At the beginning of the trail:

Where I stopped--these are rocks at the base of one of the climbing areas. I would have LOVED to scramble around up here!

The view looking down from where I stopped:

All done.
Juana rockin' the super cool car we had (mind the sarcasm).

I flew from Boulder to Orange County and had to spend some time at my most favorite place: the beach!

The cliffs of Corona del Mar:

Blue sky and blue ocean make me one happy moose.

There is simply no better way to spend an afternoon than this:

When I left Santa Ana I drove down to San Diego for a meeting. Here's the sunset at Carlsbad.

Oh, SoCal. I have a S.E.R.I.O.U.S crush on you!

Life, Liberty and Fabulous Friends

2009-06-17T22:19:00.001-05:00

So far my summer has been a blur of traveling from one time zone to the next. It's a happy blur, but, truth be told, most mornings I wake up wondering where I'm at. 'Cause I'm just a jet setter like that.

(And because everyone knows that standing in a trade show booth or sitting through yet another training for 8 or 12 hours is Oh. So. Glamorous).

But I have to admit that one of the upsides to this very mobile life I'm living is getting to see and do a few things I've never done before. To be clear, the opportunities to enjoy the sights in various places aren't exactly experienced the way one would on a proper vacation.

The scene is something like this. Me running through the streets of Philadelphia at a feverish pace, 30 lb laptop bag on my forever misaligned shoulder. Cell phone in one hand checking email just in case something comes up. Camera on the other wrist just in case I come across something photo-worthy. Suitcase left with the hotel bellman. Flight in two-ish hours. Blisters forming as the result of said racing in shoes that could only be described as very inappropriate for the jaunt.

Can you picture it? Yeah. SUPER attractive.

But at the end of it all I did get to see some pretty amazingly historic sites last week. Truth be told I'm not really a history girl. Those classes just seemed so dry to me. Until I get to actually see things for myself and imagine what they saw. And walk where they walked. And then it sinks in and I get downright nostalgic.

And take a million photographs, the vast majority of which I will not subject you to.

But here are a few:

At the Liberty Bell Center. The Bell.

Independence Hall where men gathered and amazing historical documents that changed the entire freakin' world were signed.Ben Franklin's grave site. OK...I wouldn't have visited this one except that my boss has a major, uh, thing, for the founding fathers.
The not-historic-but-culturally-fabulous statue in downtown Philly.

After my trek through the city I raced to airport only to have my first flight delayed. Followed by my second flight that was also delayed. I was home for a few hours before driving off to The Woodlands to see a few of my childhood girlfriends.

It was fantastic to see these girls...next time we'll try to get the whole old school gang. Here are (of course) a few photos of our time together.

Mel & Marsha.
Moose & Mandy.

Amy & Marsha

The (partial) Huntsvegas Crew.
Amy & Mel

Loved Philly. Loved seeing new (really old) sites. And LOVE these girls!

The Final Milestone

2009-06-16T21:00:00.002-05:00

Guess what I wore Monday?

For, like, 13 hours, even.

Yep.

They might not be a pair of my favorite pointy-toe stillettos, but I feel like we're on the cusp of those and I'm willing to claim this as ~~victory~~ recovery.

My closet and I are so pleased.

That's Ms. Moose to You

2009-06-06T09:30:00.001-05:00

Yep.

I know.

I've been a little MIA lately. Emphasis on the A part. I feel like a character in a cartoon action movie where they just show a blur zooming across the screen with virtually no detail. The good news is that my blurry little world has been the source of much bliss lately as I have kicked off the summer by having more fun than I can remember in a long time. I actually feel like I did when I was kid and it was the last week of school.

In a word? GIDDY. And I'm a fan.

And of course, I've embarked on all this fun with camera in hand. Here are a few pics of the past couple of weeks.

With Lindsay at the lake Memorial Weekend:

At Abel's on the Lake...I feel certain this will be my summer hangout. I like to call this one "pretty in pink" (in a completely non-pejorative way, of course):

More fun out on the town with LG:

I spent the past week in Dallas and got to enjoy three of my all time favorite people, Wendy, Suzy Q and Darla:

More fun in Dallas with Brandy, KK and the other Mel:

One quick story to go with the photo gallery. I spent last weekend with Wendy, also known as the world's best hostess. Seriously...it doesn't get much better than the accommodations at Casa Bryan, complete with fruity drinks by the pool and chocolates on my pillow. Not to mention the hours of fantabulous girl talk.

When I was with her amazingly sweet family I kept laughing at how what my brother started so many years ago has stuck. I mean really, Jason, I've got to hand it to you.

Because these two beauties?
Yeah. They call me Ms. Moose.

S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.

And I'm not going to lie. It makes me smile every time.

Now...off to have more spectacular summer fun!

Heavenly Day

2009-05-20T16:55:00.005-05:00

Oh my. You know those days that are just seemingly perfect? This has been one of those days.

I get to work from home most Wednesdays--a huge treat given my awful commute the other days. I went out for a walk before I started working and couldn't believe how GORGEOUS it was. I got home to learn that my coffee pot went kaput and immediately walked back out the door to visit the nice folks at Starbucks.

(I don't care how energized a brisk walk can make me, I'm not getting through the work day without a good, healthy dose of the caffeine. And how lucky am I that Starbucks lives a mere five minute walk from my front door?!)

Anyway, it was SO spectacular when I was out and about that I decided I couldn't possibly spend the day inside. Welcome to my office:

Simply. Lovely.

(Even if it did make me realize that I'm going to have to go ahead and replace my lawn service. And I really need to stop putting off working in the flowerbeds.)

There's a Patty Griffin song that I love called "Heavenly Day." It is officially the title track to this post, and the soundtrack for May 20, 2009.

While my perfect day would certainly not include working, this is absolutely the perfect way to work!

Aspiring Canadian

2009-05-19T19:04:00.005-05:00

No...the title not my way of telling you that I'm packing it in and heading North. Nor it it my way of telling you that I'm trading in my southern drawl for the likes of "aboot" and "eh." It's my way of saying that there was a little extra spring in my step this morning because my favorite guilty pleasure is back for a new season.

That extra spring in my step, by the way, is completely metaphorical. I was pouring caffeine in my eyes to stay awake today because I stayed up so late watching Jillian meet the 30 men who showed up in Hollywood to sweep The Bachelorette off her feet. And did you notice that she corrected Chris Harrison every time he said "husband"? Is it too much to hope that she might actually have realistic expectations for a TV dating show?

So here's the scoop--I love writing about the bachelor(ette) almost as much as I love watching it with Laura and Tracy. But I can't commit to weekly commentary this season as I did for the wretched Jason Mesnick (oh, our girl Melissa is getting such sweet revenge on DWTS, isn't she?!).

I'll be traveling about 75% of the time this summer, so most of my time with Jillian and the boys is going to be courtesy of the DVR. And the weeks that I'm around I'll have a conflict with my Bible Study. And yes, I do sort of feel compelled to pick Jesus over Jillian. And yes, I didn't make that choice last night and watched the kick-off with the girls instead. And yes, I'm going to do that again for the finale. And yes, I'll be watching the show, but I have no idea when it will be each week and it seems kind of silly to post a blog about a show several days after it airs.

Unless, of course, there's something too juicy to pass up and then I'm sure I won't be able to help myself.

But I do have a few thoughts from last night. First, while I think I'm exactly 3 feet taller than her, I really want the girl's clothes. I realize that all those cute coats would be a bit impractical in Austin. And apparently to wear said coats I would need to wander the streets looking all forlorn and melancholy. But still. The girl's got style.

Most of the guys last night on the other hand? Not so much. Seriously--when did they move the show to Miami-Dade county? Was last night about winning over a girl or channeling Crockett and Tubbs? I haven't seen that many pastel shirts parade by in, well, 25 yeas. And I prefer it that way. But I suppose that it was apropos given all the break dancing that went down in the house. Hello there, 1984...so nice to see you again.

Over all, there were (as always) a few winners and a few crazies right off the top. Tanner is apparently this season's Shannon--gotta love a stalker. Oh, that would be Tanner F. But Tanner P. with the foot fetish is equally crazy. Let's say good-bye to them both. Quickly. And then there's Wes from Austin. UGH...why does this show keep giving my fair city such a bad name? (And yes, we're the live musical capital of the world, but I've never seen someone sitting in a window like that playing the guitar. Come on ABC...we know you hate Brad, but don't bring the rest of us down, too. Thankyousomuch.).

I love that Dave got the first impression rose and imagine that men everywhere who watch this show (because they are forced to by the women in their lives, I'm sure) will start getting "tongue tied" when trying to impress a girl. And go right ahead...it was pretty darn cute. The Aspiring Canadian guy was good (the shirt was a clever way to stand out without bringing out the crazy). And I immediately liked Juan from LA, but I apparently have a huge crush on SoCal right now, so it might just be that.

All the makings of completely-awful-and-yet-totally-delicious season of entertainment. I've always been a sucker for summer love (even if it is totally make believe).

[Editing to add that Chris Harrison's blog is back. And I didn't read it (or any others) before writing my own. I feel all warm and fuzzy that he welcomed us, his treasured viewers, back exactly the same way I welcomed back our dear friend, 1984. Just sayin'. Oh, and Chris, I'm really trying hard to win Laura back into your fan club. The emotions are still a little raw, but we're working on it.]

Spring Cleaning

2009-05-17T22:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a lovely, rainy Saturday in Austin. Usually I want my Saturdays to be sunny and clear so I can go out and enjoy all that this beautiful city has to serve up for outdoor fun and adventure. Yesterday, though, my agenda included something I completely dread: spring cleaning.

I guess "spring cleaning" implies that it's an annual event. Well...maybe not so much at my house. I like things clean and neat, it's not that, it's just that I have a little bit of a problem with accumulating ~~crap~~ stuff that I don't really need and sticking it in odd places, so I end up with all that random stuff crammed into various nooks and crannies.

Hmmm...why am I admitting this to y'all?

Anyway, I apparently have a hard time getting rid of things and the evidence eventually overwhelms me and I have to just tear the place apart, purge, clean and then put it all back together again.

Tackling my bathroom cabinets was my agenda for the day and I so wish I'd thought to take a picture of my bathroom floor when I was midway through. (Hmmm...is it weird that I wish I had a picture of my messy bathroom? Maybe it's a good sign that I didn't take one.)

The mess I made and the collection of products I dragged out? Impressive. Well, impressive in crazy bag lady kind of way. Am I the only one who can't throw out any sort of product unless it's completely used up?? I'm talking about the gagillion hair/skin products that I buy, don't like or retire and yet hold on to for, apparently, decades. I mean, how many loofahs does a gal need? Second only to the slew of facial "toners" and scented lotions that I've managed to accumulate. Please...comment and tell me if you do this, too. We can form a support group.

It took much longer than I expected, but I finally got through it. I'm embarrassed to admit that I ended up with two trash bags full of ~~crap~~ trash! Whew.

The process has me thinking about other things--those that aren't tangible--that I might be holding on to. Expectations, fears, dreams, relationships, and ideas that I've crammed into the nooks and crannies of my heart and mind that are just cluttering things up. Things that I hold on to just because I think that someday I might actually have the perfect occasion to drag out and "wear". Things that, like all those eye creams I never used, need to be tossed to the curb.

When I finished up my bathroom I was so pooped (uh, no pun intended!) that I rushed through my weekly cleaning by vacuuming around the edges of the other piles that I haven't dealt with yet.

And I'm OK with that. I'll save that for another rainy day. My "internal" spring cleaning? That will just have to be a work in progress.

The Economics of Dating?

2009-05-13T08:00:00.004-05:00

I'm a night owl. I'm usually getting my second (third? fourth?) wind around 10:00PM and there are way too many nights that I end up staying up much later than I need to. And I subsequently pay for it the following morning when I ~~drag myself~~ jump cheerfully out of bed at an hour that most people find acceptable and I find down right painful.

Watching "Nightline" is usually part of my attempt to slow down and get ready for bed and I was blown away by a story Monday night about dating in a down economy. Am I the only one who was unaware that dating was highly sensitive to the economic climate? I must have missed that in B-School.

Now, I can completely appreciate that people might not spend as much on expensive restaurants or other activities, but according to these folks we are in the midst of serious dating reform. Apparently the dating behaviors of flush times are no longer acceptable.

(Um...I'm trying hard to follow along at home, but I'm just not getting it.)

You can click the link above to read the full story, but here are are few gems that I need to share to bring you into the twilight zone with me. The love guru quoted through the piece is Rachel Greenwald, dating coach, matchmaker and author. She cheerfully explained that "there doesn't have to be a monetary value associated with the perfect date; it's all about the company. People are doing different things, and now they value partners who can bring more depth to the relationship instead of just a hot babe."

(Well, hello Captain Obvious. Glad you could join us.)

She went on to explain that it used to be OK for your online dating profile to say you wanted someone who makes more than $150K, but in this dating economy it's better to say that you want someone who has a kind heart.

I suppose that's it's OK to say whatever you want on your profile--and I'll admit that I don't have one so I might not be an expert on this point--but I feel pretty confident that if the crux of your profile is resting on the financial status of your potential prince charming, well, let's just say you might expect to get what you pay for.

According to Nightline, "People are not looking for style and flash and hookups as much as they were," Greenwald said. "Now they're looking for substance and someone who can be with them in good times and, more often, bad times."

So if I'm catching on and making sense of all this, it sounds like one of the effects of the economic recession is a renewed search for substance, character and integrity in a mate.

(Sounds to me like things are looking up.)

Street Walker

2009-05-10T21:50:00.010-05:00

How can another weekend possibly be over? Hmmm...what do you suppose we need to do to make 3-day weekends the standard? Mr. Obama? Ms. Pelosi? All of you slaving away in Texas during the legislative session? Surely someone can introduce and lobby for something along these lines. Call me. I'm more than happy to testify.

I spent Saturday afternoon at a crawfish boil put on by the Young Men's Business League. I'm not going to lie. It was depressing to realize how much younger than me the young businessmen in Austin apparently are.

It was one of the first times I felt down right geriatric at such a function.

Luckily I was hanging with Lindsay G. and we didn't let the age issue slow us down. We found our way over the game area and rocked it. We played washers (I won!) and a game that none of us had ever seen and we just made up rules as we went along. That made it pretty easy for us to dominate there as well.

Not that I'm, um, competitive or anything. Certainly not.

My real accomplishment of the weekend, though came today. See these?

I've been staring wistfully at these for many weeks now. (Even more than my beautiful stilettos.)

And today?

Yep...I was able to not only wear them, but even take them for a spin around the block. It was just a little walk (30 minutes!)...but they were, literally, the first steps towards being completely "back on my feet."

And that's better than winning any party game (and didn't require me to channel my inner cougar).

Oh, come on. You know me better than that. Then again...I have been around the block.

Toe-tal Appreciation

2009-05-04T23:51:00.006-05:00

Today is Cinco de Mayo. A day when Mexico celebrates victory over France. Well...I think that's the story. I never really got into history. For me, Cinco de Mayo is all about the opportunity to enjoy a margarita or two and gorge myself with queso.

Today is also a different sort of "Independence Day" for me. The pins are OUT!

I'm not going to lie. The removal of the pins was not exactly pleasant. OK...it hurt like hell. I had an equal number of people suggest that it would either be completely painless or hurt a lot. I went into it prepared for a lot of pain while really hoping that I wouldn't feel a thing. I'll spare you all the gory details and just say that it really hurt and I just might have let out a bit of a scream on the first one. Or maybe even a loud scream. And I'd like to think that's saying something because I've been forced to develop a pretty high tolerance for pain.

BUT...it's done! To mark this momentous occasion in my little life, I'd like to declare today to be NATIONAL TOE APPRECIATION DAY.

(I'm sure that Mexico doesn't mind sharing the day. It's probably a nice distraction from all that "we're the home of the swine flu" PR nightmare they're grappling with right now.)

To celebrate NTAD I'd like you to just stop and think about all the things your little piggies do for you that you daily take for granted. Here are my top 6 reasons that I love my toes:

1. They're pretty fundamental in the ability to walk, run and jump. Not to mention all that P90x and Jillian Michaels Shred mania that so many of you are ~~suffering through~~ enjoying lately.

2. They so willingly squeeze into all those beautiful shoes that line the shelves of my closet. Oh, pointy-toed stilettos, how I've missed you!

3. There would be no lovely walks on the beach and digging your toes blissfully in the sand if you didn't, you know, have toes to dig in.

4. Dipping your toes in the pool. Enough said.

5. Pedicures just wouldn't be the same. Those toenails are a canvas upon which I can enjoy my "Chick Flick Cherry" nail polish on a daily basis.

6. Two-stepping. I don't boot scoot a lot these days, bit I love knowing that, thanks to my toes, I can.

I know there are more reasons that I can't think of now, but six is a nice random number. Comment and tell me why YOU love your toes!

Oh...and there was a lot of discussion in my world about how exactly I would be "declawed." I was betting on an instrument that was in the family of fancy pliers. Turns out that it was actually a pair of fancy scissors instead. I took a photo for those of you who were morbidly curious (you know who you are).

I turned away as soon as I took this and didn't watch the actual removal.

Feeling it was, well, more than enough.

A Brand New Day

2009-05-04T21:54:00.008-05:00

Whew!

Wow. I had so many great intentions for blogging my little heart out over the weekend. The weekend that was--in a word--DERAILED. Isn't life funny that way? You think you have a grip on things and then poof! What you had planned flies right out the window.

I'm not going to go into the details of said derailment except to say that the past came to visit. It wasn't a particularly bad visit. Parts of it were completely enjoyable.

But the thing about the past? It's the past.

And I've looked backwards for too long and am so happy that when the past drove away and left it actually, well, LEFT. I really needed that. And so now that the past is gone? I'm looking forward to the future. And for the first time in such a long, long time, I know I'll be OK.

(Um...yes. I acknowledge that was beyond cryptic. Sorry about that. Sometimes that's just how it has to be when you're talking to the blogosphere.)

So speaking of the future...tomorrow is a big day! Not just because it's Cinco de Mayo and a great opportunity to enjoy your favorite Mexican food delights with your favorite margarita (on the rocks with salt, por favor). It's also the day that I get "declawed"!! Yep...these blasted pins in my toes are making their exit tomorrow. I'm not going to pretend that it's going to be a pleasant experience when they get removed, but I'll deal with that. It's time to say farewell to my piercings and get back to real, normal, toe-bling-free life!

I'm sure I'll have more to say about that tomorrow. In the mean time, I'll leave you with a link to one of my favorite artists ....click on "music" and you can play the third song down to better understand the title of this post. And if you listen on to the fourth song...well, that's the kind of future that I'll fall asleep dreaming about tonight.

Enjoy!

Coming Out of the Cave...

2009-05-01T08:49:00.005-05:00

SOON! I'm working on several posts (all in my head at this point) and look forward to writing a lot over the weekend. I'll resist the urge to actually write a "real" post now as I'm supposed to be, you know, doing the work thing. But I had to check in and say that I'm excited to have FREE TIME this weekend.

Not to mention how thrilled I am to be rested enough to actually form a coherent thought.

That always helps.

Between now and then, if you want your world turned upside down a bit check out these spectacular posts from Angie and Melissa. They are fabulous (and famous) bloggers on an amazing trip to India right now with Compassion. Our world is so much bigger than we can comprehend and there's so much out there beyond our comfy and down right opulent lives. So much we don't want to have to think about, and yet it's unconscionable for us to just ignore what the vast majority of the world endures every single day. I've been following their trip as much as time has allowed this week and am moved, wrecked and just in awe of what they are experiencing and they way they are sharing it.

Right here and now I'd just take back each and every complaint I've had over the past few weeks about how "hard" things have been lately. Seriously. I'm going to complain about too much work? Or PC problems? Or even a couple of silly toes?

Geeze. What a brat.

More soon...

On the Road Again

2009-04-23T22:24:00.007-05:00

I think I might secretly have hoped that by writing about the recent chaos in my life and sending it out into cyberspace that said chaos would have packed its bags and moved on to taunt someone else.

Yeah. Not so much. (And I even wrote it on Easter).

So it’s been another couple of weeks of work completely consuming my life. Uh, didn’t I trade in working around the clock for something resembling a LIFE when I left Intel?

Anywho, I spent the week in Tampa at a GIS tradeshow (yes, it is a glamorous life, but someone has to do it). The show was a dismal reflection on how the economy is affecting things and it was the slowest show I've ever attended.

But the week wasn't a complete loss as I had the BEST sushi I've ever eaten while I was there. And that is saying something. My co-worker and I went a little overboard on the ordering and there were literally more plates of food than could fit on our table. Our BOOTH table. But it was so worth the misery of being sushi-stuffed. If you're ever in Tampa head over to Ybor City and eat at Samurai Blue. Delish! (But maybe 6 specialty rolls for two people is a wee bit too much, so scale accordingly.)

I was pleasantly surprised that the pins in my toes didn't even phase the airport metal detector. But they did get me that nifty blue pre-boarding pass. That's a golden ticket on SWA!

On my way home today I realized that I'm a little bit addicted to airport people watching right now. I'll have to do a whole post on this when I get a few minutes. I'm mostly intrigued by the attire people choose. Not so much about the fashion/style, but rather the crazy range of options. I would love to know what some of these folks were telling themselves when they made their wardrobe selections this morning.

After I landed in Austin this afternoon I drove over to Huntsville (it was a rather convoluted travel day). I'll get to see my oldest friend in the world (in duration, not age) tomorrow and then am spending the weekend with the family for my favorite nephew's 4th birthday.

I've got two words for you: Birthday. Cake.

I'm pretty sure that's what's finally going to make all this craziness fade a way for a bit. Well, OK, it probably won't really be the cake. But the two incredibly cute kiddos who will inevitably end up with frosting in their hair are certain to do the trick.

Blogalicious

2009-04-14T07:35:00.004-05:00

A few quick links to other good stuff I've seen around the blogosphere in the past few days:

This is a beautiful post about motherhood and kiddos growing up. Oh...and that spectacular not-so-little girl in question? My amazing goddaughter.

I'm a big fan of being able to laugh at yourself (seriously--it's a requirement for my survival for so many obvious reasons). This blog pokes fun of us Christian folks. And so much of it is painfully true.

And finally, you've got to watch this. It's not a blog link, but it's a video that's sure to make your heart smile and brighten your day. So go watch it. Now. It's worth the seven minutes.

Happy Tuesday!

Girl Interrupted

2009-04-12T08:00:00.004-05:00

Whew. What a week. You know those times when it just seems like everything is harder than it ought to be? Yeah, that’s pretty much where I’m at. Work is beyond out of control, I’ve been swamped with technology “issues” while said workload makes it the worst possible time to be sidelined without my PC, and, of course, there’s the whole broken toes/recovering from surgery fiasco.

For the most part I’ve been able to hold on to my sense of humor in the midst of it, but I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t had my moments where it just seems like TOO MUCH to deal with. Really.

I’m struggling to keep my head above water. And I’m treading water with one foot.

But no sob story here—I know that each of you have been where I am now at one point or another, and in this fun little thing called life we’ll all be here again.

On the one hand, all of the daily chaos has made it difficult to spend time reflecting on Easter and all that it means (I know I usually keep things on here pretty light, but let there be no question that my faith is the most important thing in my life). On the other hand, though, I’ve felt especially tied to the season and able to relate to the suffering of Christ. Don’t get me wrong—I know my little turmoil is less than one of the strikes he endured as he was tortured for my sin. But it still makes it easier for me to relate than the happy-go-lucky times I am blessed to usually enjoy.

I’m a huge fan of A Slice of Infinity and a few days ago there was a devotional that still has me thinking. It focused on Simon of Cyrene—the guy that was just minding his own business on a little trip when he was plucked from the crowd and forced to carry Jesus’ cross on the way to the crucifixion.

He was minding his own business when his plans got tossed aside and his vacation was (very rudely) interrupted. By the cross. And his life was never the same.

I’m so grateful that the cross completely interrupted my life, too. I know that I tend to dwell on the interruptions caused by the crazy chaos that can easily consume my daily activities…work, technology snafus, and freak accidents that seemingly turn my life upside down.

But the groovy thing is, that when I feel like I’ve completely lost my balance and am swept away by one of life’s floods, it’s the cross that anchors me. It’s the cross that helps me know which way is up. It’s the cross that rescues me over and over again.

There was a time when I was doing things my own way, pretty much just minding my own business living life with the status quo. And the cross came along and completely changed everything. It ruined me for an ordinary life as I came to know and experience the most amazing love of a Father who sacrificed everything for me. ME. And you. YOU.

Who says interruptions have to be bad?

The power of the cross is personal. Jesus didn’t just die for some collective whole. He knows us each intimately and he allowed His own life to be interrupted so each one of us could have something so much better than we deserve.

As I celebrate Easter this year I am unspeakably grateful for the hope that there is so more much to life than the daily grind. I am unspeakably grateful for the grace that secures that hope and promises that one day my life will REALLY be interrupted and replaced with joy that’s beyond what I could ever imagine.

That whole eternal life in Heaven thing?

It’s going to be pretty great.

Hope to see you there!

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18)

Foreshadowing and a Smidge of Redemption

2009-04-09T22:27:00.008-05:00

I've got to admit that I'm pretty amused by the sharp spike in hits to the blog as folks flock here to see pictures of my very pathetic looking toes. I'm so happy that I can be the train wreck of the week. No, really...please allow my misfortune to entertain you. I'm a giver like that.

As people emailed me comments about the blog (and certainly about the toes!) I started looking back at some of my more recent posts. I was, to say the least, a bit disturbed by the amount of foreshadowing I came across. In this post I actually said, "it's definitely time to prove that I can enjoy an adventure that doesn't end with some sort of triage." Wow. Guess I let those words fly out of my mouth one SoCal trip too soon. There was another reference somewhere in there, too, about ER visits and how accident prone I am.

Perhaps there's a lesson here.

But despite all of the clear signs that Moose + Bike = BAD NEWS, I do have one tiny point of redemption. OK, redemption might be a stretch, but these days I've got to take what I can get.

I realized that I never did post pictures from my rock climbing afternoon in LA (3 weeks before bike riding in LA). So here you go...there IS, in fact proof that I can enjoy an adventure and not end up in the ER. At least once in while.

Yep......that's me...

...dangling from a rope on a big rock. Kind of high up there.

(At least for me).

And back safely on the ground where I'm sure I ought to stay.

(But am sure I won't)

Thanks, MDP, for taking me and getting me up and down without incident. I think I quietly mentioned at one point that you might ought to know that I'm a little bit accident prone...now you know what that means. And I can't wait to climb again!

"Toe"-tally Disgusting

2009-04-08T12:18:00.008-05:00

Well, I don't get it, but apparently photos of my broken toes are in high demand. My original thought was that I would post a link to Flickr or something so you wouldn't see them unless you really wanted to, but I'd have to set up accounts and these days I just don't have that kind of time.

So if you don't want to see it...now is the time to leave the page. I'll try to add some space so you have to scroll down and aren't immediately assaulted by the lovely images. If that didn't work and you saw it anyway I apologize. But only sort of, because let's face it...I have to not only look at, but also feel it....and wrap my brain around the fact that there is metal protruding from my body. So. Completely. Disgusting. And bizarre.

I saw the doc yesterday and all is on the right track--the pins will be in for 4 more weeks (UGH!) and then I should be back to normal within a few weeks after that. The pain is very manageable and I'm SO grateful that they gave me this post op sciatic nerve block pump thingy that left my entire right leg numb for 3 days. I could still feel the toes some, but not nearly as much as if I'd hadn't essentially had an epidural in my leg. The pump thingy, by the way, also very bizarre. And my roommate deserves a medal of some sort for not only helping me get around when I had no feeling in my leg, but also for helping me pull the catheter out of my hip when the pump ran dry. That's a quite a story in and of itself, but I have the feeling that I've already crossed way over the TMI line and will have enough respect for us all to just leave it at that.

I genuinely feel like I lost a week of my life to the twighlight zone...who knew that two little toes could cause so much trouble?! HUGE thanks to Amy, Clare, Stephanie, Laura, Tracey, Liz and others who helped me out so much last week...I can't tell you how much I appreciate and love you guys!

OK...so without further ado...

Here's what it looked like the night before surgery:

Here's what I was able to see until yesterday morning:

And here's what I have to look at for the next month:

My co-workers have nicknamed me "The Claw." Nice. Apparently I am as prone to odd nicknames as I am to all the injuries.

Paging Prince Charming

2009-04-02T10:40:00.005-05:00

Dear Prince Charming,

I still believe that you're out there somewhere and am excited for the day we actually get to meet and fall in love. I know those are going to be some good times. However, I'd like to request a bit of expediency in the process.

As I lie here on the couch with my foot propped in post-surgery recovery, pain pump releasing the numbing meds in five minute intervals, I am acutely aware of your absence. I have lovely friends who have been so helpful over the past few days--they are awesome and I love them very much.

I'm just saying, though, that it would be really great if you could go ahead and ride up, hitch your beautiful white horse to the front porch and ring the bell. Even in my current state I'll find away to let you in. And I promise that I generally look better than I do at the moment.

Don't misunderstand that I only want you around to be a nurse of sorts...not at all. I'm just thinking that these moments are part of the whole kit and kaboodle. I promise to do the same for you as needed. (Though I must say that I really hope you're not as accident prone as I am. I'm sure we have a lot in common, but maybe just not that nifty little trait).

OK. That's all. Hope to see you soon,
Mel

Not Exactly the "Spring Break" I Had in Mind...

2009-03-31T12:29:00.011-05:00

OK, yes...I said I wanted to adopt the "Spring Break" mentality and went so far as to joke about my "rolling Spring Break" as I travelled a little and got to visit with other legitimate spring breakers over the past few weeks. I usually love a good dose of irony...but this is too much even for me.

Saturday morning I was hanging out with one of my best friends from college, Julie, where she lives in Redondo Beach. We took a couple of her beach cruisers (pretty much the kind of bike I had when I was 10...complete with the basket and cute little horn on it) down to Hermosa Beach for breakfast. The round trip was 4-ish miles and we were almost back to her house when I had a little mishap.

I'm still not completely sure what happened. I will admit that I haven't been on a bike in ages and was a little unsteady from the start. But I thought I had finally gotten into the groove by the time we were in the home stretch. I think I was shifting around in my seat a little to get comfortable--the bike was too tall for me and after 4 miles I was definitely feeling the effects of that. While I was shifting someone surprised me and I lost my balance and started to fall, so I kicked out my right foot to catch myself. I was next to a curb, and in a freak occurrence that would only happen to me, my foot somehow caught the curb on the way down.

I didn't even completely fall over, just stumbled a bit into the bushes. But when I looked down I knew there was a problem. I'll spare you the graphic details and will just say that I knew as soon as I saw my foot that one or two toes were broken. I guess I should mention that I--like every other Southern Californian out there on a cruiser--was wearing flip flops. Don't even bother to lecture me on this point...I get it.

All of this happened an hour before I needed to hop in the car and drive back to the OC to catch my two flights home. Let's just say it was a VERY long travel day topped off with a trip to the ER when I got back to Texas. They confirmed that I broke both the 4th and 5th toes on my right foot (the one that "had none" and the one that cried "wee, wee, wee all the way home").

This morning I followed up with an orthopaedic foot specialist and fully expected that he would just tell me to keep buddy taping them and was pretty shocked when he told me that while he hasn't operated on a toe in more than two years, he wants to do surgery tomorrow as the 4th will likely need a pin. Sigh.

So yes...I'm still "that" girl. You might think that knowing that I have a condition that creates a severe balance deficiency would make me feel better, but it doesn't. Well, you might really think that knowing that I have a condition that creates a severe balance deficiency would keep me off a bike to begin with. But while I might be the most accident prone person on the planet I just refuse to not do the things I enjoy for fear of getting hurt. But it would certainly help me out if I wasn't allergic to pain meds. That part actually makes me more than a little grumpy.

Before my very literal "rolling spring break" I did have a really great time. Here are a few pics of the fun.

Sunset at Huntington Beach:

Hanging out with Clay & Shawna in Anaheim:

Laguna Beach:

Sunset at Redondo Beach:

With Julie at Hermosa Beach (just before the accident):

I'll spare you the picture of my foot.

The Spring Part is True Enough

2009-03-20T07:37:00.009-05:00

One of the sad, sad realities of being a working adult is that they don't just close the doors and send you all off to the beach or the ski slopes or even your own backyard in the name of "Spring Break." For all of the upsides of working in Corporate America, this is clearly an area where some reform is needed. Seriously.

Mr. Obama--could you help us out here? I feel certain it would provide a much needed economic boost. I can tell that from the deluge of Facebook updates that taunt me with stories about all the fun that's being had.

Growing up in a family where my mom was an elementary school teacher and my dad was a college professor we were lucky enough to have this time off together as a family every year. In fact, I was probably 11 before I realized that the whole wide world didn't all get 2 weeks at Christmas, Spring Break and summers all together as a family.This was not an easy realization, and figuring out that this window of free time would eventually shrivel up to a measly 2 to 3 weeks of "Paid Time Off" made me just a little bit bitter. OK...still makes me just a little bit bitter.

This year I decided to at least embrace the spirit of Spring Break and try to enjoy the attitude of the holiday if not the actual reverie of Spring Breaks past. (Ignoring the reality, of course, that work is beyond out of control right now and I've spent the better part of the week fighting off a little virus). I did, however, manage to sneak in a little after hours fun and even a reunion with my dear college friends Suzy and Robin.

And thing got wild and crazy.

A hotel party. Shrieking girls throwing themselves at boys. Bare navels. Even an incident involving coconut lime verbena.

And if I ignore the fact that all that mayhem was at the hands of their five small children running wild it almost sounds like South Padre, the sequel. Except not really anything remotely like it.

But despite the lack of Keystone Light in a can by the pool accompanied by suntan lotion in the form of baby oil, we did have fun and I managed to snap a few pictures.

I also had a little St. Patrick's Day fun:

And come to think of it...I guess I'm enjoying the "rolling" Spring Break. I went to LA 2 weekends ago and caught up with some other old friends there (and yes, I apparently really like this outfit):
I'm headed back to SoCal next week. I'll try to disregard that this is a business trip and just see if I can keep my "Spring Break" rolling.

What Time is it Anyway??

2009-03-10T23:43:00.003-05:00

I spent a lovely long weekend in LA with groovy people enjoying the gorgeous coastline, watching a myriad of interesting people enjoy the beach, and even got in a little rock climbing.

(For those of you who know me well that last bit probably filled you with terror and you're now expecting to hear about my experience at the ER. I'm happy to report that other than a few normal scrapes I came out unscathed. Well...there is a situation with my big toenail, but it's hardly worth mentioning...not to mention completely disgusting).

Daylight Saving Time came to visit while I was there and I just need to say that it's completely unacceptable for a time change to happen during vacation--at least if you're losing an hour. I will admit that we were still up and going strong at 2:00 AM local time and had a very hilarious (OK...probably more like pathetic) few minutes of trying to figure out what time it really was as half the clocks around us automatically adjusted for the change and we had those plus a few watches from other visitors from different time zones and were VERY confused.

I got home last night, and by that time I had completely forgotten that the time change ever happened, and so I didn't change my clock. So yes, I managed to be an hour late for work today. Nice.

I kept forgetting to take my camera or to take pictures while I was out there, so I don't have much to post. Others did, though, so after I get pictures of me managing to dangle from a rope on a rock without hurting myself, you better believe that I'll post the evidence. Because whatever time it is, it's definitely time to prove that I can enjoy an adventure that doesn't end with some sort of triage.

Magical Chemistry. Or Maybe Not.

2009-03-03T19:16:00.012-06:00

Yowser. Was the Internet on FIRE today with some Jason-Bachelor-ABC hating or WHAT?!

I showed tremendous restraint and actually didn't read any of my favorite blogs on the topic until I have a chance to get my own thoughts down (and you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be flying through them as soon as I hit "publish"). The exception was Chris Harrison's "behind the scenes" blog. He gives the full skinny on when it happened (After the Final Rose was filmed 6 weeks ago), what Jason said led up to it, and--as if this wasn't painfully obvious--that it was the most uncomfortable interview he'd ever done. You think??

But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? Because there was so much before we got to that point. This would be a novel if I tried to recap it all, so I'm just going to give you my favorite moments.

The show starts with Melissa meeting Ty and then the rest of the family, and STARS...if I ever questioned whether or not the show was scripted it was at this point. Specifically...the sheep joke. Really?! Melissa just had a sheep joke up her sleeve for a moment such as this? REALLY? I can ASSURE you, that I have no such repertoire. And I kinda don't think I'm the only one. And, no offense to Melissa here, she just doesn't strike me as the kind of gal that's really that into barnyard humor.
What was going on during Molly's date while they were at the house? First there was the very weird moment with Jason and the fam sitting around the pool while, I'm pretty sure, Ty was holding on for dear life. That was just weird. And then to take step further into the echelon of awkwardness, Jason and his mom had that "tender" moment out on the lawn under a blanket. Now, don't get me wrong--I am ALL about a boy who loves his mama--but I draw the line at sunset snuggling.
DeAnna--how LAME was that?! It was so weird and awkward (hmmm...a theme for the night?!). She obviously did a great job of scoring a little vacay down under in exchange for espousing the wisdom to Jason to "don't follow your heart. Lead it." Followed by this little gem, "If I'd followed my head or my heart I would have chosen differently." DeAnna--please--we're dying to know--what DID you follow?! I think that whole scene qualifies as "The MOST overrated Bachelor moment ever."

So then it all came down to the final decision. First we see him say good-bye to Molly, "the tomboy gone pretty", which apparently made him want to throw himself off the balcony in a storm of tears. [Side note--special thanks to Emily for passing on the stat she heard on the radio--Jason cried TWENTY-FOUR times in this episode. Was that ALL?].

He got over it pretty quickly, though, because after his heart BROKE for Molly he promptly turned around and proposed to Melissa, who responded with the weirdest happy dance I've ever seen. [Is it just me, or would you expect a little more rhythm from a DCC? (That Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader for y'all who aren't in the know..and I was one of you until I was schooled in such things by LB. And she knows everything cool and hip and trendy.) And Mel's hair--great in theory, so bad in execution].

But he put the ring on her finger and they took the Nestea Plunge with Ty to cement that it was, in fact, true love. And apparently they were blissfully happy for about 5 whole minutes.

Until Jason broke up with her on national television. Ugh. I still don't know what I want to say about all of this. On the one hand...HELLO, it's a TV show and you knew what you were in for when you took the gig. But I'm a softy (and let's be honest, Jasons breaking up with Melissas hits a little too close to home). It was just so bad to have to watch it happen. I had no delusions of happily ever after for these two, but I also didn't think the poor girl would be humiliated like that and if I had any control at all I might have even stopped watching. But of course that didn't happen. ABC really did hit a new low when they sent her into the limo. Did they really need to add that injury to the insult she'd just endured?!

And then Miss Molly took him back. With lightening speed she went from giving him the icy stare to wrapping her hand around his thigh. A speed rivaled only by how quickly Jason jumped from one relationship to another after admitting that what he did to her was horrible. Yeah...that's what I want someone to say to me 30 seconds after breaking off his engagement. Just sweeps me right off my feet.

So tonight they came on and gushed about how happy they are and how they wouldn't do anything differently. I'm sure Melissa is REAL happy about that. I have to admit that, while I was disgusted by what happened, I wasn't outraged until Jason said--at least four times--that the great thing about Molly was that (wait for it) she is his best friend. OH NO HE DIDN'T!! Seriously?? After freaking out because that's what Jillian was looking for? Sigh. This is clearly a conflicted and messed up guy. Brad Womack must be so pleased.

[OH...I can't let it all go without commenting on Stephanie's outfit in Part 2. Tracy astutely observed that she appears to have MAD BeDazzeling skilz. MAD!]

Oh well. The most entertaining part of the whole experience was watching with my posse. These girls make me laugh so hard and there were a couple of time where I was in tears and stitches at their cutting observations and running commentary. And when Laura started screaming at the tv "I hate you Jason! Enough with the tears!!" I couldn't even see straight.I think there was a moment where Chris Harrison was even dead to her, but I hope we can manage to revive that.

Here are a few pictures of the party and our carefully chosen "Bachelor Inspired" attire...please note the scarves, poufs, Uggs, and obscenely inappropriate amounts of jewelry (you can't tell that I'm wearing 4 bracelets and 6 rings...remind you of anyone?).

Thanks, girls, for SO MUCH FUN over the past few weeks. Can't wait until next season! (Oh, come on, I'm not even going to pretend that I won't watch). Go Jillian!!

Seriously?!

2009-03-02T23:05:00.005-06:00

Wow. OK, so I know I have to write about the finale--and I will--but at the moment I'm too shell-shocked. And disgusted. And, quite frankly, a little amused. This is TELEVISION dating, after all. And it was so, so bad. So I'm going to have to process it all and collect my thoughts. SO MANY thoughts. For everyone's sake, they're going to need to be censored. Check back in on Wednesday and I'll glom it all together after tomorrow's "After the Final Rose, Part 2" Anyone want to place bets on whether or not he ends up with Jillian or DeAnna?? :-)

OH...and despite what trivial thoughts I might have on the show, I promise that I'll post the pictures of our little group dressed up in a delightful Bachelor fashion parody...

I Heart Austin!

2009-02-28T15:21:00.007-06:00

It's no secret that Austin is a fabulous city to live in, and last night was the kind of event that makes me love it here so much. Austin Under 40 is an event created to honor young professionals under the age of 40 who make significant contributions through their jobs and within the community. It's so fun to see the amazing accomplishments of so many talented men and women. And they're not just talented, oh, no...they are also tons of fun!

What might just be a run of the mill (i.e. boring) banquet some place else is a rockin' party in ATX. From the fantastic setting--The Austin Music Hall--to the super delicious dessert (thanks Hey Cupcake!) it would be tough for it to be anything but a good time. Throw in an after-party at The Belmont and it should now be clear why I'm so sleepy today. Congrats to the fabulous event co-chair (and my favorite karaoke partner) Lindsay Gustafson for hosting such a stunning event. And congrats to Shannon Merony who was a finalist in the Government and Public Affairs category--the judges clearly didn't consider your mad dancing skilsz or you would have surely won the whole shebang!

Here are a few pics from the evening. Bachelor fans--pay special attention to the last one--it's just for you!!

With Kandice and Lindsay:

With Clare, Elisabeth and Julie:
With Kandice, Shannon and Elisabeth:

With Jeremy from The Bachelor:

Now I'm off for super-sized nap!

"All the Clouds are Aligning"

2009-02-25T20:33:00.006-06:00

Oh, where to even start? Let's go with the fact that I know this is late. It's Wednesday. The show was Monday. The 2 of you who actually check to see what commentary I have to share (thanks, BTW!) might actually want it to be timely. But let's be honest...while I'm addicted to this silly little show I am actually trying to have a life at the same time. And one day I might even write about my life rather than the lives of these beautiful singles who are trying to find love in front of you, me, and all of America. But not today. Today, we focus on our "reality show rejects."

I'll tell it to you straight--I've never enjoyed the "Girls Tell All" episode and have always felt like it was just a stumbling block to the finale. BUT...this season it was different. Why, you ask? Two words: Chris Harrison. And our buddy Chris? He BROUGHT IT! Seriously! Forget these lame guys who are competing, our indelible host is the real deal.

I think this was the first time that Chris and the bachelor have had that little fire side chat to give us the real skinny on what he thought about the various antics throughout the season. It's pretty obvious that Chris and Jason have developed a real friendship (perhaps the only REAL relationship that will survive this show). And so I guess that's what opened the door for Chris to be, well, pretty darn honest and direct in his questioning.

There was a lot of good stuff here, but let's just cut to the goodies. He NAILED Jason on the Jillian situation. I love that he didn't let him get away with the whole "I need more than just a best friend" junk. Yeah...because in that hot tub scene there was clearly NO chemistry. His exact words (because they're worth enjoying again verbatim--and don't think that LB and I didn't rewind it at least 5 times), "What you did in the hot tub almost consummated a marriage. Cinemax called and THEY said it was too much!" I'm such a fan of just telling it like it is.

Chris also pushed J on the tent overnight with Molly. I'm certain I'm the not only one that saw right through J's face when he said, appropriately utilizing the baseball euphemism, that he only made it to first base.

Hey Jason--call me when you want to play some poker, cause I stink at the game but even my poker face is better than that!

After that delightful little segment wrapped up we were subjected to the parade of former contestants. For the love of Pete...ENOUGH of Ryan and Trista. Really. They just keep saying the same thing every time and I'm done with it. ONE successful couple of the dozen that the show has produced is not going to convince me that my ticket to true love and happiness is via ABC. (Sorry, Laura... ;-) ).

Even worse than Ryan and Trista were Charlie and Sarah. Now, I know that I just said that I'm a fan of telling it like it is. But that's a little different than airing your dirty laundry, once again, a la the the American Broadcasting Company. When Sarah said that they broke up the first time because "it was all the drinking. I didn't appreciate his drinking" I about spit out my wine. Maybe it's because I'm Southern. Or maybe I just know the difference between straight shooting and verbal incontinence. Either way, Sarah dear...TOO MUCH INFORMATION! And you know that ABC was scraping the bottom of the barrel if the trotted that out as a success story.

I did, however, enjoy the story of Fred and Noelle. They're pretty darn cute and I wish 'em well!

Finally we got to the drama deluxe portion of the broadcast.

Oh, Natalie. "If you don't feel a connection with me, like, who do you think you are, GOD?" Hmmm...perhaps it was her professed love of bears that did it. [And wow, chickie gave some FACES throughout the show]. But, of course, I did feel sorry for her...she's a lost soul wrapped up in a Barbie body and biker chick duds...and she was as scattered as a mess of fire ants when you step on the mound.

Nikki...why did she keep calling Natalie "Nat"?? Is using a pet name when you dish on someone supposed to soften the blow?

Naomi...I have to just say it...I have no idea what she was saying...could the cameraman NOT have changed the angle on that? Did we really need to see Lauren's boobs the whole time?? That was painfully uncomfortable!

Shannon...oh, she's just as crazy as ever. CRAZY. That's enough about her.

Stephanie...hello...1992 called and wants that outfit back. I know, I KNOW...she's NICE. Yeah. Unfortunately her since of style hasn't quite caught up (though I do appreciate any girl that really owns her style that much).

And then there's our Jillian. Sigh. She's so going to be the next Bachelorette and I was tickled that Chris seemed to imply that it was more than wishful thinking on our part. And, once again, I had total dress envy. That girl's got STYLE! I think I'm about a foot taller than her, but I'd still love to do a little shopping out her closet!

So, there you have it. We got the montage of Molly and Melissa (I'm still laughing about the "hot pools" that was just a big barrel of hot water) and a teaser to let us know that something's about to happen that will result in an "After the Final Rose" show that's SO CONTROVERSIAL that they filmed it without an audience (but, you, know, are apparently going to still let those of us close and personal friends at home watch en mass). Jason was acting weird about it and we think there's something fishy. Will he pull a "Brad" and not pick either? Will he (horror of horrors) end up with DeAnna? Or are they just trying to fake us out? All of his words in the montage certainly pointed towards Melissa, but I guess we'll all just have to tune in next week and see.

Until then, just remember that Jason feels like "All the clouds are aligning".

[And perhaps I'll squeeze a post that less TV and more reality].

The Most Painful Rose Cermony Ever

2009-02-17T19:08:00.006-06:00

I'm going to warn you right now that I'm not feeling very cheeky. I just don't like how this one turned out, and frankly I'm feeling a little pouty about it. But I'm eating a Samoa as a write, so things might be looking up.

Fantasy date week always promises solid entertainment, not to mention a sharp spike in the va-va-voom factor. I personally liked the choice of New Zealand--very different from the standard beach locations of seasons past. Don't get me wrong...I think the beach is the happiest place on earth...but it was nice to have a little variety. Wasn't it GORGEOUS? TY--we're so jealous that you're there!!

So we'll start with Jillian. She got the absolute best date by far. There was a little plaid overload going on with those two, but I thought the whole top of the mountain picnic was blissfully romantic and I thought that what she said about looking for her best friend to love was lovely. Our bachelor, however, did not agree. I can't believe this is the point he got stuck on, but he clearly never let it go. It seemed to be what did her in, but not, of course, before the rest of the date was over. The pink dress at dinner? Spectacular. The, uh, bikini with Uggs? Not so much. I love Jill's sense of style, but that was over the top. This was, of course, after she threw down the gauntlet and asked, "are you sure you can handle all this fire?" Apparently her lower legs and feet were not on fire and needed a little shearling coverage for the walk to the hot tub.

The hot tub. Oh, my head spins with all the things I could say about this scene. For starters, how do you make out like that with the camera and crew right there watching? Not to mention that we're filming a TV show here, which probably means that, you know a gagillion people are watching. Including her parents. And his. And hello--all the other girls! And the voice over. "I could feel her hands on me." Really?? And the music...so, so bad. And that's enough about that. The whole thing was just a little more boom-chicka-boom-boom than was necessary...especially with the girl he "breaks up with" at the end of the day.

And then there's Molly. I thought the questions were cute, but it still cracks me up. You, know, because when you only have 6 weeks to date someone (while he dates 24 of your friends), and then get engaged, it's good to go into it knowing each others favorite ice cream flavors. Jason's stylist proved yet again that s/he needs a new career. Laura thinks that maybe Haynes is secretly sponsoring this season...if they haven't already they may as well ask him to be their spokesperson. I think that this season they must have used the same "fantasy suite" for all three girls (so much is wrong with that) because they showed a different area of the room for each "date". I guess after the show J&J put on in the hot tub they couldn't exactly reuse it. So poor Molly only got the bathtub. Nothing says "fantasy" like hanging out in your swimsuit in a bathtub in New Zealand.

So then there's Melissa. I really thought she was a goner after last week, but alas, I think she's getting the final rose. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Her date was pathetically lame. It was beautiful, I'll give them that. But am I correct in observing that "the hot pools" turned out to be a single hot tub> Without even the jets? Hmmm...maybe the whole tropical island locations are a better Bachelor fit after all. Did you notice how many times Jason referred to falling in love with Melissa? My count was three times. I counted zero times that he said anything like that about the other girls.

The Rose Ceremony was just awful. Even though I really had no idea what he was going to do, I was still completely shocked. I'm really not sure why I hated it so much. Then again, I might be just as crazy as these girls for caring enough to write this much about a reality dating show. But that's OK...you might be just as crazy for reading it.

Public Humiliation of the Day

2009-02-10T23:37:00.006-06:00

Oh, how things manage to "shape" our days in unexpected ways! Yesterday afternoon after work I headed over to the mall on my way home. There's a great salon in Austin (Tara's) that opened a little shop there last year, and while I would generally avoid salon services at the mall (yes, I'm a snob about things such as this...I already know that), I have been a faithful customer of this establishment for getting my brows threaded since they opened.

So I ran in for a much needed service and was completely bummed when I saw that the shop was closed while they were moving to a new location in the mall (is being next to Nordstrom really THAT much of a reason to close and relocate?). To cheer myself up I headed down to Old Navy to shop for cute, cheap scarves (it IS the year of the scarf, after all) and on my way I was startled to come across a kiosk that turned out to be Tara's temporary home. I'm not going to lie. It took me a moment to agree to have my brows threaded RIGHT THERE. Smack dab in the middle of the mall. This required sheer bravery. Public hair removal is not for the faint of heart. But I had a situation going on with the brows and they needed to be tamed. So I took a deep breath and hopped in the chair.

That gnawing sensation in the pit of my belly...you, know, the one I should have learned to listen to by now? Yeah...that's the one that I should have listened to last night. It started OK, then I realized that the conversation of the (very lovely) girls working on me wasn't merely chit chat, but instruction. That's right. Not only was I enduring the gaping stares and comments of passers-by, I was in the hands of...wait for it...a TRAINEE. Yeah. You can pretty much figure out how this is going to end.

I was paying very close attention to the tone and inflection of the conversation (actually a great distraction from my horror of being so on display) and it was all going well. Right brow done. A look in the mirror for approval. Perfect.

Then on to the left. Also seemed to all be going well. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but they finished up the left and then went BACK to the right. Now, I know that at this point I should have opened my mouth and asked, nay, DEMANDED to know what was going on. But I didn't. I think it's going to require some therapy to understand why I don't speak up in moments such as these. But I'm nice. I want to be respectful. I want to trust. And after all...it's just my FACE we're dealing with.

I assume she was just going to do a little touch up to even the two brows. And then I heard what I was fearing from the beginning. The one who was "supervising" gasped. Then, in horrified tones started to shout instructions to the "trainee". Panic sets in and I was seemingly paralyzed while more hair was being removed. Then...and I just love this...they give me a huge smile and hand me the mirror while gushing about how great I look.

Yeah...except about a quarter of the right brow is GONE. Right there between the pretzel stand and the bejeweled cell phone booth I was BROW SCALPED.

When the dust settled I was too deflated to even go scarf shopping. I instead made a beeline for Sephora to investigate brown pencil options.

Brow pencil? Check. Appointment for therapy? Forthcoming.

"Life is a Dance"

2009-02-10T21:56:00.005-06:00

I have to start this week's recap by saying that I think I might have been a little on the girls in the past week. I stand by my opinion that Shannon has exhibited alarming stalker tendencies, but don't want to cross the line with my little blog to being mean. So I'll work on that. :-)

I love the hometown dates! I always love this part of the season because we get so much insight into the girls' lives. And I'm so intrigued by how the parents respond to being dragged in to this alternate reality of TV dating. I always get a good chuckle imagining how my own parents would fare in this situation. I know y'all can't fully appreciate that...but trust me that it would be (as Laura would say) HI-larious! Seriously.

I'll dive in with a general comment--Attention Jason's Stylist! Did they give you the week off?Did Jason's luggage get lost and force him to shop at a local big box store? I was so thrown by the gray Haynes-esque t-shirt that he wore with Jillian and appeared to be wearing again under his sweater with Melissa. Surely we can do better than this! At least he did have the nicer button down on when delivering that horrifying, er, touching, eulogy. More on that in a sec.

Jillian's Date. We think Jillian is adorable, smart, sassy and deep. Her date completely cemented that and her coat was so cute that her own white t-shirt didn't bother me. Her family was endearing and I think she's making it through to the final two. She's great. Her mother's poem was, undoubtedly, over the top...but it did set the theme for the doves that Naomi's mom so nicely ties to later. And it gave me a title for this post. Her dress at the rose ceremony, once again, rocked. Great taste, this one! If nothing else she's a good match for J because he needs her fashion savvy.

Naomi's Date. Wow...I don't even know where to start. Given that I think my own family would be, uh, entertaining, in this situation I need to tread lightly, but I feel certain that no parents I am acquainted with would open with hula hoops and then follow that up with a dead dove. Seriously. SERIOUSLY?? I can't even wrap my brain around that. And then poor dad straight up shares the Gospel (which I completely appreciate on the one hand, and yet the timing/setting was so less than idea--and did you notice the row of slot machines in the background??). So he's interrupted by the mom who wants to talk to him about reincarnation. (Insert that annoying sound that's like a record scratching). Uh...what?! It was so much of a paradox that the whole thing seemed like a dip into the twilight zone. Made me feel a rush of compassion for Naomi, though. But not enough to think he should keep her around. Her exit was no surprise...a bit overdue, even.

Molly's Date. What was up with the VERY nonchalant way that she greeted him at the golf course? She was cute as a button but seemed really off the whole time. And again with the over the top mother! I appreciate that Jason was a great sport with the crazy hats...not to mention the very monitored art project. No pressure there! My favorite line of the night was when her dad told her that if she doesn't make it to the end to not cry in the limo. Classic!

Melissa's Date. I was a little distracted on this one by the constant melody of an old ad jingle running through my head. Any guesses which one? Sing it with me! "Who wear's short shorts? We wear short shorts! If you dare wear short shorts, Nair for short shorts!" Melissa: we get it...you have great legs. At this point, though, the constant short shorts are crossing over to the side of the block that isn't usually referred to as "classy". Jason had on jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt (albeit another chintzy one) and she's running around in those shorts and a tank top. It just didn't work for me. But...I can let it go because I really did feel sorry for her. If her best friends have barely even met her family and don't know much about them, there's a story there and it's probably not a good one. She made the cut this week, but I think her days are numbered.

So I just don't know what to think about DeAnna still not being back. She's going to crash the fantasy dates?? That just seems wrong. Deliciously entertaining...but wrong. It was hard to tell if she's coming next week or when he's down to the final two. That would just be cruel. But I can't deny that it would make for excellent "reality" TV.

I watched last night with Laura at her house and her hubby Dave came home around the time of the rose ceremony. While he obviously thinks we're crazy, he joined us and we tried to bring him up to speed on who's who and what's what. Then he looked over, and with what can only be described as incredulous horror asked "Are you taking NOTES?" After wiping away the laughter-induced tears, I had to admit that yes, I was taking notes. I feel a duty to you, my 3-ish readers, to be accurate and thorough. I take this blogging thing very seriously.

And Dave...if Laura convinced you to read this...thanks for indulging us. And thanks for making sure my fellow Bachelor-obsessed friend can watch with me each week!

My Cabinet Overfloweth

2009-02-08T18:57:00.007-06:00

So those of you who go to Mesa...do you remember when we had the Palm Sunday pancake party, oh, about two years ago? We got the DELICIOUS pancake batter pre-made from the good folks at Kerby Lane (who also gave us a great deal--Kerby Lane ROCKS!). Because Kerby Lane pancakes are generally regarded as the most delectable breakfast treat in all of Austin, it made sense at the time to take home some of the leftover batter and freeze it.

Yeah. Except that I have an established track record of letting leftovers go to waste. And that's if they're lucky enough to make into the fridge. The freezer? Forget about it. My freezer is the place where things go to never be seen again and subsequently die from frostbite. So this weekend when I decided that it was time to get rid of a casserole that my mom made for me almost three years ago after a surgery (I ate the other three--don't tell her I let one go to waste!), it seemed reasonable that I should also face the fact that I never made pancakes and toss the TWO containers of frozen batter.

So I decide to fill one side of the sink with warm water and drop in the containers to the let them defrost so I could pour it down the disposal. This was an excellent plan. Worked like a charm. But as I as eventually washed the remnants of batter down the drain I suddenly noticed that my foot was getting wet. I looked down and there was an emerging puddle of watery batter forming at my feet. I opened the cabinet under the sink and water GUSHED out. Everything in there was soaked through. Sigh. This is just not what you want to see at 11:00 on a Saturday night (yes, I was home cleaning out my freezer on a Saturday night...that's a whole 'nother issue.)

In case you're wondering...watery pancake batter? It quickly dries to form a thick, sticky PASTE. (Think Ross and the leather pants). And I'm not going to lie...that kind of incident is exactly what drives me over the edge to have one of those, uh, frank, discussion with God about why my own pancake-loving-home-mishap-fixing prince charming has not yet arrived on his white horse with flowers and and allen wrench (or whatever tool would be helpful in a situation such as this).

So my kitchen is somewhat out of order today. Because THAT's the reason I'm not cooking a delicious gourmet dinner to enjoy with the Desperate Housewives. Tomorrow I will coerce my handyman (also known as my boss and neighbor) to come over with his eight-year old and take a look and it will, one way or another, get fixed.

I'm sure there's a lesson here--beyond the virtues of EATING the leftovers--but I'm not yet sure what it is. Life is messy. Things get sticky. And this is why it's good to have a freezer full of Lean Cuisine's that you can eat in a pinch.

Sleepless in Seattle

2009-02-03T22:38:00.006-06:00

Well there's no way to sugarcoat it. This week's episode of The Bachelor just wasn't dripping with the insanity of weeks past. I can only attribute this to the lack of Crazy "how far can I get before they figure out that I'm a stalker and file a restraining order" Shannon. I feel certain her absence was most noted by bloggers nationwide.

But there were still 5 ladies in the game and that's enough for a little drama. This week included travel, talk radio, tension, and tacky. So the girls all jet off to Seattle to see Jason in his element and spice things up a bit. (And it should be noted that 4 of the 5 were wearing scarves on the journey. This only further confirms that 2009 is, in fact, the year of the scarf.)

I thought Melissa handled the change in plans pretty well, but questioned her decision to wear the dress over to his (FABULOUS) house. I also just questioned the dress...did she really need a sparkly snake between the boobs? Really?? I didn't care for it and didn't think it did anything to flatter her annoyingly perfect figure. But I guess when you get all dolled up for the man that you're competing for you may as well show it off. And she had the "1-2 Punch" thing going for her when she then changed into what could certainly NOT be described as "stretchy pants". Boy shorts, maybe, but not stretchy pants.

Oh, and how cute is that little Ty?? Precious.

On the group date I wanted to just crawl up in a ball under the couch when they played the "guess who I'm kissing" game and then asked those poor girls, live on the radio, what their style is "when the lights go off". Laura and I had to pause and laugh for a bit imagining what my answer would have been on that.

I think it would have been something along the lines of "Uh, well...I...uh...umm...uh, well" while turning bright red and, for the first time in my life, channeling those Startrek people and silently begging somebody to just beam me up. Or out. Or anywhere other than in front of that microphone.

The tension among the girls in the room and the two at home who had to listen as Jason told the world that Molly was the best kisser of the group, was, well, what you'd expect in that situation. And didn't you love how Naomi and Melissa instantly started assuming that he must only have been considering the girls on the date. CLASSIC.

So lets get to the tacky. I think you know where I'm going with this. Poor Stephanie. She absolutely seems like a lovely person. I want to believe that about her. I just have such a hard time getting past all the bling to take anything that she says seriously. Her outfits on this episode were the worst so far. And let's be honest. That's saying A LOT. I tried to count her rings while she was steering the boat and could be certain if there were 4 or 5. Either way, I'd say that's at least 3 too many. With the glittery t-shirt. Under the fur vest. With the glittery eyeshadow. And the ginormous earrings. And I'm sure multiple other accessories that I couldn't quite see behind the glare of the ones mentioned.

I'm going to spare you the psychoanalysis on why I think she does and says some of the things she does--she's certainly had a rough road of it--but I wasn't surprised when Jason let her go and I don't think she's as ready to "love again" as one might think given the gazillion times she said it.

Now. Here's what I'm DYING to know. WHERE'S DEANNA? They showed her coming back in the first episode. We know it's coming. But it's definitely starting to feel like she's out of time. So surely it has to be this next week--right??

I'm holding my breath. I'm doing it Joey Tribbiani style, but holding it nonetheless.

25 Random Things

2009-01-31T11:26:00.004-06:00

So there's this thing going around Facebook that has been really interesting--basically you just make a list of 25 random things about yourself and then "tag" other people to share yours and invite them to write their own and share them back. As much as I LOVE Facebook (certainly another post about that is warranted someday), I don't usually do these kinds of "extras". I'm an addict of the straight up status/wall post/photos variety. But these have been so fun to read and it was more reflective than I would have thought to write my own.

So I'm posting list here and inviting YOU to write your own and post in the comments. And really hoping someone (of the what, 5 of you that even know this exists?) will bite and join in. I'd love to know more about you!

I didn’t like fish of any sort until I was 28 and agreed to try sushi. Now it’s my favorite.
If I could, I would make chewing gum in public illegal.
I'm a complete wimp when it comes to cold weather and use the heated seats in my car almost year round.
I have a 6’ wrought iron Christmas tree that my grandfather made and I keep it in my bedroom with white lights year round.
Being an aunt is my favorite thing in the world. (And I secretly love that they call me Aunt Moose).
I have a “lifetime to-do list” and am determined, among other things, to visit all of the Seven Wonders of the World.
I grew up believing in God, but my life completely changed when I finally “got it” and fell completely in love with Jesus. I wish everyone knew this perfect love.
I threw up at the Great Wall of China.
I wish I’d been more self-aware in high school and college…I think I would have been a much better friend.
I love to play music in my room when I’m home alone and just sing my heart out. This works in the car, too. And maybe on a karaoke stage after a drink or two.
When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a Supreme Court Justice. Now I can think of few things that are less appealing.
I love to have fresh flowers in my house. Irises are my favorite—they are just so intricately beautiful.
I didn’t really understand the point of blogging until I recently started.
I am the happiest when I’m outside—especially if I’m at the beach.
I miss my grandfather so much it aches inside.
I've been skydiving once and bungee jumping twice.
I try to live without regrets, but there are a few things that I’d really like a “do over” on.
I volunteer with an amazing organization called I Am Change. Life is so much better when you intentionally try to live beyond yourself.
Facebook should pay me for all of the recruiting I do on their behalf. I’m an addict and LOVE that I’ve been able to reconnect with so many old friends. And hate that some of the hold outs haven’t given in yet.
I think working at Intel gave me ADD.
Despite it all, I’m still a hopeless romantic and want to fall completely, helplessly, passionately in love. I still believe in the “the fairytale”, albeit a slightly different version than I once thought.
My favorite place in the world (so far) is Lake Como, Italy. Spectacularly beautiful.
I actually enjoy blind dates. Well, most of the time.
Some day I’d like to learn how to sail. This will, however, require the development of a variant of Dramamine that doesn’t make me fall asleep.
I eat way too much Easy Mac. Really.

Tag. You're it!

Alternate Reality: The Bachelor

2009-01-30T11:26:00.007-06:00

Wow. WOW.

So this week's Bachelor was a train wreck DELUXE! It was so chocked full of moments that are screaming for commentary that I actually had to get out a pad and pen so I could keep track of all the crazy. Chocked FULL! There's so much that I'm not even sure where to start, so I'm just going to dive in and warn you now that this is gonna be a long one.

The Singing.
It's always interesting to see what's going to happen in these moments, and future bachelor and bachelorettes should just take note--if you take yourself too seriously, you're not going to win the date. Stephanie with the operetta. In hot pink hot pants with the side pony tail, way too much bling, and a little bare midriff. So, so bad. And Lauren, you missed the point. When you are so certain of your victory it usually means the only thing certain is your defeat. Humility is hot. (Maybe we can chip in a get her a t-shirt with that on it?)

The Group Date.
There's always drama on these dates, but this was so over the top. All the "stage kissing" in front of each other didn't do anything to ease the tension, but I did enjoy the expressions from the other girls as they watched each other mug down. I thought they were going to need a real doctor after Megan mauled Jason in their scene. And Melissa could have poked an eye out with that pouf. Our little watch group had to pause it so we could try to figure out the physics of that ponytail. We were unsuccessful.

Once they moved to the "wrap party" it just got worse and the real soap opera began. All the crying! I might have felt sorry for Jason but I think he amped it up with his sleepover with Molly the night before. I'm a single woman out there in the dating game. I can assure you that if I went out with someone and knew he'd spent the night with someone else and woke up that morning to go out with me, I might, well, be feeling a little drama myself. Then again, I wouldn't be on a date with other women at the same time...hmmm...OK...I digress.

Rising to the top of the heap...Lauren with the ultimatum. Seriously?? Single friends--please tell me you know this approach never works. Couldn't you just see it on his face as hie imagined, uh, being "dominated" for the rest of his life? Not pretty. Melissa with the shorts--another point where we had to pause and inspect to figure out what was going on. We decided that they were spandex-ish workout-ish shorts. Not a fashion trend that I'm gonna be getting on board with anytime soon! If you have insight on what she was wearing, please post it in the comments section!

And finally on this date: The. MOST. AWKWARD. Bachelor. Moment. EVER. Poor, poor, crazy, stalker, Shannon. I laughed so hard I cried. But let me assure you that I did not end up with the oh so unattractive snot face that she was sporting. The "I won't let you leave me" stalker revelation followed by the nose blowing/picking followed by that attempt at the kiss. Classic. Really one of the best Bachelor moments ever. Chris Harrison says it best on his blog, " Don't blow your nose, pick it, and then go in for a kiss. And if you do, don't be so shocked when the other person rejects you." Yeah. Enough said. (BTW...Chris Harrison rocks, as does his blog with the weekly behind the scenes scoop).

The 2 on 1 Date.
I'll be brief here. I just need to say that while Stephanie seems like a perfectly lovely person, her mannerisms are that of a 45-50 year old (no offense to the many fabulous women I know in this age range...who act much younger and hipper than Stephanie does). I did feel bad for Nikki here. And I hope that she seeks some counseling because it's tough times for her and she's clearly not over that last break-up. Stephanie's face when Jason chose her was painfully smug. I'm only glad she's still around because I get so tickled by Laura's reaction every time Stephanie says "My man". Which is A LOT.

The Rest of It.
I'm giving Jason props for not giving out all the roses. He did manage to lower the crazy factor before he takes them home next week. And speaking of the crazy factor...Shannon, Shannon, Shannon. Sigh. Really?? Did you notice that in each frame of this episode she managed to look more like a crazy bag lady? Topped off with the macrame mu mu. Really. Not. Good. But, bless her for giving us the MOST AWESOME moment in all of Bachelor history. Her exit interview and those final last words, "I'm going to go home, get my electric toothbrush and give my puppy french kisses."

Let's just hope she wiped the snot off first.

Just a Note...

2009-01-28T17:48:00.005-06:00

Due to scheduling conflicts I haven't watched The Bachelor yet...tomorrow night. And, I'm embarrassed to admit it...I'm dying to know what happens!

I've seen the previews. I know it's The. MOST. DRAMATIC. Rose. Ceremony. Ever.

I will finally be in the know tomorrow night. And I'm sure I'll have thoughts to post on Friday.

Yes. My life is kind of pitiful.

I own it.

Thirty-six

2009-01-23T11:53:00.008-06:00

Thirty-six. Somehow it feels a little better to spell it out rather than just throw out the numbers. And since that number is now my age, I'm just going to go with that. Or maybe I should just make this the first anniversary of my 35th birthday and adopt this as my new approach to birthdays.

I'll skip the commentary on how I can possibly already be this age, and certainly won't brooch what will happen in just 4 little years. For now I'll just post the pictures and be so grateful for a SUPER FUN birthday celebration! Oh...and please note The Bachelor inspired pouf...that was just for Laura and Tracy!

The girls looking oh so lovely.

With Debbie--a.k.a. my first (well, and only) official follower...that's why she gets her own pic with me on the site. Holla!

Lynsey, Julie, Tracy & Laura

With Hawley, Deb & Julie

Yes...I'm on the piano. I have no logical reason other than it seemed like a good idea at the time.

It's a MOOSE! I tried to stand on a bar stool to get a little closer for a better photo, but for some reason the management didn't feel like that was a good idea. I thought they were worried about my safety...turns out they were worried that I would somehow hurt the moose. Nice.

Just a glimpse of a very fun night. I have to say that when I climbed into the cab at 1:30 I was very aware that I'm just not as spry as I once was. It's a good thing that 50 is the new 30...that makes me, what, about 18? Oh, how I do enjoy the new math.

Thanks again to those of you who joined me and made my day so special!

TBL Thoughts

2009-01-23T11:47:00.002-06:00

A few quick thoughts on this week’s Biggest Loser (because I said I would and think it would be bad to drop the ball in the blog’s first week):

Did I just miss it or did Dan and David not participate in the temptation? It kills me that David isn’t on the ranch…every time they show his “progress” at home I want to cry. That boy needs to learn what the ranch has to teach. I seriously hope Dan gets him back there in a few weeks.
Bob’s face when he found out he had to go to Detroit was priceless. Clearly the LAST place he wanted to go this week.
Tara. This chick is tough as nails. ‘Nuff said.
Joelle is crazy lucky. Not to mention just plain crazy. And I feel certain that if she’d gone home this week Carla probably would have eaten her for breakfast. Those two are quite the pair.
It was tough to see Damien go home, but I love how great they looked in their update. These updates save me…I get so bummed when the contestants have to go home and might hate this show if I had to wait all the way until the end to get a glimpse of their success.

Yeah. I really love this show.

My Country Tis of Thee

2009-01-20T12:40:00.004-06:00

Just watched the inauguration. I love the pomp and circumstance and the level of ceremony that goes into this event. And the hats (although I'm really not sure what Miss Aretha was thinking).

While I'm still feeling a little cynical about what kind of change we're really going to see, there's no mistaking the historical significance of what happened today. I am so proud to be an American. Really...we are so incredibly fortunate and I take it for granted every day.

May God bless you, President Obama, and heap loads of wisdom upon you. You're going to need it.

Alternate Reality

2009-01-20T09:10:00.004-06:00

Ah reality TV. You have to love it. And hate it. And, of course, realize that there's NOTHING real about it. There are two reality shows that I watch, well, in a way that some might describe as obsessive. One is the so-bad-you-have-to-watch train wreck variety (The Bachelor) and the other is the feel-good-inspire-you-to-be-better type (The Biggest Loser). These shows have too much good material not to comment. I'll start with TB and try to post on TBL tomorrow.

OK...there's really only one word for this group of girls. CRAZY. Seriously--where do they find these girls? I get that most of the normal girls out there appreciate that they probably won't find true love on national television whilst competing with 24 other girls and so maybe they don't apply, but this particular bunch is all kinds of wacky.

So where to even start...I'm going to just do a list (and will try to be brief):

Stephanie--Sigh. She's a nice enough girl, but seems so much older than the rest. And I really do feel for her with all she's been through...but I'm ready to know something else about her--ANYTHING else--beyond her loss. It's time. OH...and as LBC and I had to discuss at length during the show last night, what was up with all of Sophie's wardrobe changes? Who wears a princess dress to Lego Land...and then reveals swimwear underneath...I think she had 4 outfits all together?? Still scratching my head on that.
The group date--Yeah...I'm all for doing a good deed and all, but there's only the slimmest of chances (like NONE) that I would have lost my top and gotten all plastered up in that setting. And while I'm not complaining, I was amused that Jason just didn't put his shirt back on. Oh...but LOVED Jillian's dress. Having a little dress envy, in fact.
Natalie--Wow. I love bears??? Yeah...I think that's enough said.
The drama--With this much unstable crazy in one house, it's inevitable, right? But I felt a little for Lauren for basically getting called out after Jason all but begged her for the scoop on the other girls.
Shannon--Poor Shannon. I haven't gotten past her total stalker revelations from the first show. And I kept hoping that they had a lot of mouthwash in that bathroom that she kept, uh, visiting. I can't believe he hasn't let her go yet. And filed a restraining order.

I'm not sure if I can pick a favorite at this point. I guess it's a toss up between Molly, Melissa, and Jillian (the dress bumped her up!).

This season is so, so bad. And yet I will certainly watch again next week.

Getting to the Root of It

2009-01-18T15:28:00.001-06:00

The image of "roots" is something that has long intrigued me. It's probably because of its Biblical significance--the vine and the branches, being rooted in Christ, etc. It's a common metaphor. So I'm drawn to photographs of trees with lots of groovy roots and even spend time looking at the roots of weeds when I pull them. (OK...a) yes, I'm a dork and b) yes, from the looks of my flowerbeds it would appear that I think flowers, shrubs and weeds should all coexist and the truth is that I don't weed them very often). Nonetheless, I think roots are cool.

All of that said, my long holiday weekend was a bit interrupted by another, much less groovy kind of root. In my tooth. Up close and personal in the form of a root canal. Ouch. So lest you think that I just ignore my dental hygiene, there's a back story to this one.

When I was around 11 my parents had the grand idea to buy a new game for the family to enjoy. I don't recall the official name of the game, but it involved placing two stakes in the ground (akin to horseshoes, a time tested family favorite of ours) and then tossing these disk thingies and trying to "ring" the disk on the stake. The disks are round with a hole in the center, but with these triangular pieces that also have holes in them--tough to describe, but you basically get points based on where you "ring" the disk.

So there we are, playing away and, as with all games that involved my brother and me in those days, the tide turned, tempers flared and before you know it (completely unprovoked, I'm sure) J decides to sling that sucker right at me. He told the story recently and swears that he was aiming at my shins or knees and remembers just watching it slowly rise as it sailed towards me before hitting me square in the mouth.

We're not going to talk about the pitiful lack of instincts that prevented me from moving out of the way. I'm sure there's a reason that I just can't recall at the moment. Really. There must have been a reason.

The disk hit me right in the gums above my top right tooth. So...yes...not only did I not move, but apparently stood still with my mouth wide open. Another point I'd like us to just gloss over. Except I can't because this is where it all comes back around. So the disk sliced open my gums and, as I wouldn't come to realize for many years, actually damaged the root and ultimately killed that tooth.

So 25-ish years after the incident, the tooth has been starting to discolor and the dental professionals decided that it was time to clean it out, hence the root canal that is impeding on my nice, long weekend.

[OK...gross alert...don't read this unless you like crazy medical details.]

The endodontist (Dr. Staci Ianiro--fabulous and I highly recommend her if you need someone to inflict pain in the name of dental healing) gets into the tooth and lets me know that it's "really cool". So, while I really dig Dr. Ianiro and she's a hip young doc, we have very different ideas of what qualifies as "really cool". She then tells me that the tissue inside my tooth and up through the root has mummified. That's right. Mummified. I won't give you any further details, but you can feel free to call me King Tut. Well...I'd prefer Cleopatra.

I'm happy to report that the pain has now mostly subsided, and due to Dr. I's handiwork the tooth has already changed back to it's proper color (yay!). My brother is completely unfazed despite my attempts to make him feel very guilty about all of this. I'm determined to plot a little friendly revenge but haven't yet decided what it will be.

I guess I should just be glad we weren't playing horseshoes.

Life as a Moose

2009-01-13T17:05:00.002-06:00

I guess this is the proverbial "about me" first post as I dive into the blogosphere, so it makes sense to start with the whole Moose business. First and foremost, I hope that when you meet me you'll be surprised that this is my nickname. I mean really, how many women hope that they personify such a moniker? Yeah. Exactly.

But I've been Moose for as long as I can remember thanks to a very persistent (and loud) older brother. The back story is long and not all that interesting, but the gist is that when I was about 11 my older brother started calling me Moose and it stuck. High school friends call me Moose. Sorority sisters call me Moose. And there was no way I was getting out of "Aunt Moose". There's even a very obnoxious "moose call" involved--though I'm happy to say that doesn't get unleashed too often. It's the kind of stuck that really doesn't get un-stuck.

And so you embrace it.

As I start of this I'm 8 days shy of my 36th birthday. I won't even begin to go there right now. That is most certainly it's own little rant, er, post. I'm footloose and fancy free (read: single, no kiddos), with a great job and an even better circle of friends. I have a big ole (Southern) extended family that I'm sure will provide a lot of material to write about and I love them a lot.

So that's the story. I'm diving in...jump in with me and let's have some fun!